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Darwin Awards
2011 Slush Pile

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Pot,shots get 911 caller six months

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Michael A McIntyre wishes he'd never fired gunshots to scare a man off his Smithsburg farm on the afternoon of Aug. 30.

The 52-year-old man also wishes he hadn't lied to police that the trespasser was the one shooting at him.

Not long after McIntyre called 911, police located the alleged trespasser, Allen E. Crocker of Sabillasville, and began asking questions.

The 31-year-old told them just why he was interested in McIntyre's Road land, and that he was the one in fear for his life.

Crocker said he went to steal marijuana plants. But he ended up empty-handed, Assistant States's Attorney Me;issa H. Bender said Tuesday in Frederick County Circuit Court.

Crocker saw McIntyre approaching fast aboard an all-terrain vehicle. Then he saw a silver handgun, a 9mm Ruger, and McIntyre fired five or rounds.

"He did not say anything before he began firing," Bender said.

McIntyre cut his losses on Tuesday, the day he was scheduled to go on trial, pleading guilty to two crimes instead of facing the possibility of being convicted of seven offenses.

Circuit Judge Theresa M. Adams followed Bender's recommendation, ordering McIntyre to spend six months in jail for reckless endangerment and possession of marijuana and to pay $345 in fines and court costs.

She suspended the rest of a six-year sentence and placed him on two years of supervised probation. McIntyre agreed to forfeit two handguns.

Defense attorney Robin K. Ficker had argued for leniency, explaining that McIntyre had suffered from rheumatoid arthritis since his 20s. He needs to have a second knee replacement operation.

"He discovered that marijuand would not irritate his stomach and liver" as Tylenol and other drugs have, Ficker said. "That's why he was growing it for his own personal use."

Bender said after McIntyre fired numerous rounds he told Crocker he was trespassing and warned him not to return or he would kill him.

Crocker told police "he heard bullets passing by his body," Bender said.

McIntyre chose not to speak to the judge. Ficker said he is"very,very,very remorseful" and had written a letter of apology to Crocker, a man doing jail time now for credit card theft and facing drug charges in Washington County.

Ficker said that McIntyre only fired up in the air, and not toward Crocker.

"This was not the proper way to scare someone off the property," Ficker said. "He should have immediately called 911."

"To say,'somebody's coming to steal my marijuana'?" Adams said, eliciting laughter in the courtroom.

McIntyre seemed shocked that the judge would put him behing bars when his elderly father needs him at home.

"I can't go to jail," he told Ficker as a courthouse deputy prepared to take him away, asking if he wanted to give his lawyer his wallet and watch for safekeeping.

"I have to go to jail, then?" McIntyre said.

"Yes," Ficker told him.

"Call my brother," McIntyre said. "I'm just sorry. That's all I can say to my dad."

Submitted on 03/26/2011

Submitted by: James Robert Barney
Reference: The Frederick News Post, 23 March 2011

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Thanks, James, but idiocy that leads you to getting tossed in jail doesn't count as self-selection. He certainly hasn't removed himself from the gene pool.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
What Bruce said.


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