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A Great Evolutionary Leap
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Terrorist Meets Allah A Little Earl
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Terrorist fail
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Darwin Awards
2011 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Gridiron Kickstand

2011 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

(Nicknames used to protect guilty) A account from a bored teenager-need I say more? During my Yr10-2010 at my high school numerous building works were occuring, my friends and I who normally hang around said buildings had to find new means of occupying our time, the hockey field was banned due to the school smokers (Great candidates for a Darwin) and the fact that my friend "Doddy" smashed a stick during a game and that we weren't allowed to use the school sports equipment after someone lost a soccerball (Our school was strict. faced with no alternative we took to the foreign sport of grid-iron (as we are Australian we have our own rules for football, but the goal posts were taken down)using the off-bounds cricket pitch as a "touchdown zone"- (this oval would later be used as a helicopter landing pad in a road crash- the wrecked the grass anyway!)after a few weeks of playing "touchdown"- where "Nolesy's"-named after a singer's head impacted the ground during a tacklem, the 1 inch divot is still there! we moved to the shade during a hot spring day of 30-ish celcius my "good friend" "kram" suggested that we practice kicking off a "ball holder", "trent" agreed and after one or two failed ground kicks I was chsen to volunteer as a kickstand (Oh Heck!)

Kick one, I was nervous but as "Kram"and"Trent" started to kick faster and faster I somewhat calmed down, using my hands cupped over my nose I moved myself lower to the ground with each kick until I was lying down "kram" decided to get a run up, as he ran up I remember thinking that I should move my fingers out of the way before they get.... OW! "What fingers did I hit" "kram" asked "ALL OF THEM!" I screamed back, and so the event left me with some brusied fingers, some of which still lock-up occasionaly, a stern look from the parents, who luckily saw the funny side after a while and a strong conviction to never EVER trust my friends with my life again, becasue if "kram" had slipped on his run-up or mis-judged his kick, I could have had my skull crushed to good-ole-fashioned way- to death,Oh the joys of being a straight A-B student with A-B friends, honestly I don't know how we survived high school, the dumb kids got by alright!

Submitted on 01/13/2011

Submitted by: Bails (nickname)
Reference: Personal account 2010

Copyright © 2011 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Thanks for an amusing story, Bails (it reminds me of Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the football). Unfortunately it sounds like you only hurt your hand which really doesn't qualify as self-selection. Even if you lost your entire arm you'd still have a chance to procreate!


James said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
As Bruce said!


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