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Darwin Awards
2010 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Oooh that's gonna leave a mark!

2010 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Alright this one wasn't a Darwin, but definitely an Honorable mention when it comes to the Darwin Awards.

It seems that Joe Cooper, age 24, (of London England) and 10 of his (male) friends decided to go to the Tress Pub in London one night, and get themselves a little bit drunk.. (Okay there's the lack of judgement due to alcohol).

But luckily for Joe (and his 10 male friends), the pub that night was holding a charity fundraiser for the children’s ward of Leicester Royal Infirmary.

Now while this was a charity event, most of Joe's (more sensible) male friends decided that they'd help out and all 10 of his friends decided that it would be cool if they got their chests waxed.

(No problem there, after all women love bare chested men, right?) so each of Joe's 10 friend's who probably we're a bit more sober than Joe was, did have their chests waxed.

But Joe decided to go one step farther and he decided that he not only would get his chest waxed, but he'd get a "Full Male Brazilian Wax.." (and this included... yep you gets it.. His pubic region...you know, right down where the cajones, meet the meat."

So Joe laid down (in his not so sober state and allowed the waxer to wax him up and to get things set up..

Of course once the bids were over, the winner of the auction decided to give Joe a bit of a rip.

Yep and here's what Joe has to say about what happened next:

“I lay down and closed my eyes and the next thing I know I’m in horrendous pain and bleeding. I’ve never known pain like it. It sobered me up straight away. My groin looked horrible. It was red raw and burning. ... It sobered me up straight away.”

The “male Brazilian” on his testicles landed poor Joe in the hospital and now he’s growing back his testicular skin with the help of antibiotics and pain cream.

and believe me, Joe's still walking kind of funny.

But as one of his friends said: “It’s a lesson that waxing your bodies should definitely be left to the women.” I’d say it’s a lesson that the only place one should wax the extremely sensitive skin on the testicles is a bondage club. And even there, no. "

So let's review the facts.

1. Reproduction: Close but no cigar.. (Oh the mess that made, but believe me, Joe learned his lessons by almost losing his balls or at least one of them.

2. Excellence: so the guy was drunk, and having a druken mind is a way to be a bit creative.. and thus lacks judgement. (Dude don't wax your balls!)

3. Self-Selection: Hey this wasn't a dare, this was for charity, and hells yeah, I'll get my balls waxed!

4 Maturity: 24.. Come on, isn't that old enough to lack sensible judgement.. Yep it does.

5. Veracity.. I can definitely say I got two sources.. One is the above link, and the second is MSNBC.com 'Weird news' (now granted MSNBC give you the rough details, but this one, definitely shows that yep, it's official: Joe Cooper almost became a eunuch.

So let's give Joe a round of applause, for nearly becoming a living Darwin nominee, but all he gets is Honorable Mention.

Submitted on 06/17/2010

Submitted by: Paul Bender
Reference: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-a-drunk-brit-waxed-his-balls-for-charity-and-it-did-not-go-well/

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Thanks for an entertaining story, Paul, but I blame this entirely on the people who were performing the waxing. They should have been well aware of sensitive and fragile the skin "down there" is and ensured that the wax was applied properly. Joe had every reason to trust that they'd know what they were doing. Unfortunately that wasn't the case, and Joe isn't to blame for that.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
What Bruce said.


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