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Darwin Awards
2010 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Always Follow Aircraft Safety

2010 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Adventures of one Staff Sgt Larry Kehl

There are 2 accounts here where Larry did a fair try at the award. However, to immortalize this very admirable comrade in arms, I’ll share a more full account.

Very to the point, Larry is a very competent electronics technician, probably to this day. My guess is he made a life of the Air Force, retired successfully and had many children, probably many grandchildren.

Larry, look me up if you’re out there.

He had these theories of how it is an airman has strange things happen to him which seem attributable to the Air Force. He said one day, “Mike, I finally got it. Service Numbers are chosen at random in Basic. Mine was. After this happens, there isn’t much you can do. As soon as the computer realizes you’re one of the chosen, you’re fucked.”

He stated ahead of time what sequence of events would happen when he went to get approval to marry his Philippine girlfriend, both to get Commander’s Permission to Marry and her passport/visa in Manila. Clark Air Base is only 40 miles from Manila but in the day, only the last 10 miles was paved. Larry had a car with a hole in the gas tank and only 10 gallons would fit in it. To make a long story short – what would have taken 3 trips in a fully working vehicle happened as he said it would: He ran out of gas twice, had to get her docs first, then commanders OK, which took many trips to Manila and back, etc.

His award winning attempt number one was while working on a C130 aircraft, replacing a Radar receiver transmitter. Again, this is usually a 2 man job and usually, how he did it is how I’ve done it on 130’s, 141’s, 118’s, etc. However, fate got him once.

One takes the 88lb transmitter, places it on a certain cross member up in the nose wheel well of the 130. It usually behaves itself but one has to be sure to balance it. One then has to lay down in a position below it to get oneself up in the access. On this tragic day, Larry noted the RT moving a bit too late. The last thing he saw before the lights went out was “No Step 88lbs”, which is stenciled on the bottom of the unit, turning in front of his eyes.

Just before he passed out, he recalls one of the mounting lugs hitting him in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him and inevitably exiting the aircraft after rolling over the family jewels.

The RT 289 is about the size of a 2’ wastebasket, cylindrical in shape. And as mentioned … 88lbs.

Larry came to with blood on his white T shirt, a broken nose and of course, nausea from the wound inflicted to the jewels.

The unit was already destroyed but trust me, not to Larry’s satisfaction. This one was condemned shortly after return to the shop.

Attempt 2 was while standing on the engine cowling of an F4 where it was early morning, dew had fallen and the no-slip tread was worn through to the metal. Remember, he has a knack for the unusual happening to him.

Inevitably, he slipped while opening the access panel to an IFF access. (Identification Friend from Foe) Being trained in the Martial Arts, he fell correctly to avoid any serious injury but had the wind knocked out of him.

However, while he was on the ground trying to muster up the wind to yell out help, no matter what direction any other technician turned while working their backs were always to him!

Finally, after recovering his wind, he just got up frustrated, finished his task and went back to the shop.

The other hilarious accounts he had were all of the pay screw up nature, personnel records mishaps and so on. Far more than any airman’s share.

After all this, if he did make a life of it and retire, he earned his pay. Larry, I wish you the best but had to make mention of these priceless stories.

Do well, mate.

Submitted on 03/01/2010

Submitted by: Mike Durthaler
Reference: Personal Account, Philippines, 1974-76

Copyright © 2010 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
Thanks, Mike, but these two stories just don't do it for me. They're simply too similar to stories we get from construction workers, etc. who decide to cut corners or not pay careful attention to where they're walking.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
What Bruce said. They could also be stories from anyone karma decided not to like. But search the Net; there's got to be some site that likes crazy military stories.


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