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Argentine Model Dies After Cosmetic
Oil lamp in a saucepan
crotch shot during robbery
Man Electrocuted in Substation
Fire Officials Release Cause Of Fat
gas bottle 2
gas bottle
Man dies after a soccer goal
waiter celebrates goal and dies
Victim's family: Additional I-440 b
Malaria meds
Warcraft Death
Man killed in Maine fire was mixing
Aint no ways to go
Lad ripped his scrotum off
I Ate My Homework!
Bined by bin lorry
Gasoline Odour Remover
suburban bowling
Russian roulette
Toyota recall
British Student, 16, Falls to her D
3 Too Many
KY Census taker kills himself
Alcohol kills, smoking kills
Desperatly needs a hobby
Man blown to pieces by fireworks
High heel teen falls under train
High Heels, High Squeals
Fooling with Dynamite
drunken microlight pilots
Quotation
A One vehicle Accident Claims Life
Up in Smoke
Man, animal, loaded rifle=Karma
Extreme Road Rage
Drivin' My Life Away
Highway patrol run over
Enter the hospital: Would-be ninja
Freeze - Everybody Clap Your Hands
Never heard about the curiosity cat
Woman rescued from large sink hole
Drunk, Stoned Pilots
Florida Woman Dies After Being Thro
The Farmers and the Well
Suicide Experiment
Seattle Ninja?
New scary trend in drug abuse
Death plunge at mall
Man Who Said He Was a Ninja Impaled
Drunk Ninja Wannabe
Ninja
3 Days to Identify
Missed Target
An unsavoury tale
Toyota Gene Pool Cleanser
Drunk hammers nail into head
thief shoots off his penis
Man dies breaking into own house
He Did It Wrong
Jackass style Sled Ride
Smurf Bomb
Goal Keep Boom
All downhill from there
man dies breaking into own house
moles
Rich Texan Near Miss :)
X Rated tale in the ER
Milk the Balls?
Woman Ran Over By Her Own Car
Car-Surfing on a Full-Size RC Car
Honorary Ungulate
Deer dies after leap into DC zoo li
Deer loses head-butt with ornament
Milk the Balls??
Drunk women falls infront of train
Unlucky buck: Deer loses fight...
Explosive bank robbery
Don't Drop that Drummer!
Elevator shaft
Grizzly Man
Car Surfing
Car surfing in PR
no more children
Robber emasculates himself
Alleged robber shoots himself in cr
Darwin Award of the Millenia
Bonfire Trip
Robbery Balls Up
Robber shoots himself in crotch
Emasculating experience
Robber emasculates himself
Robber emasculates himself
MSU student's dragging death
Teen killed near Joe Louis Arena wa
Car Surfer Wipes Out in San Juan
Hide and Go Seek Coroner
Is there insurance for that?
Drunk Tourist Breaks His Neck
Man plays with rabid bat
Man charged with drunken driving af
It's only a little nip!
Yep, it's loaded.
Playing with a Wild Bat
From The Valley
Twice the Booze, Twice the Pain
Death before dishonor
239kg man dies
ManClown Killed by Train
They love trains too much
Wis. man attempts drive-by shooting
Friendly death
Look For a Car With An Arm on it
Softball not Water Polo
Christian God
Smoking kills
Deputies: Man Electrocuted Trying T
Nearly ejected from the gene pool
Plane Silly (honorary mention)
Dui on stolen lawnmover
arthur kade
Bear Kills Militants
Ran over by her own car.
The Pig Man
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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Never heard about the curiosity cat

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

So, I was inspired by the story, "My father the PHD"

because immediately the childhood antics of my brother sprang to mind. I still don't know why he's alive today except that maybe all the stitches are holding him together. So, I'll recount some of the highlights of his greatest moments . . .

1) My earliest memory of my brother is visiting him in the hospital at the age of two. He had been there a few weeks because he had eaten an old french fry off the floor of my parent's bar and contracted a stomach infection so rare the doctors had at one point sent him home under pallative care believing he was going to die.

2) My next memory of my brother is of him running flat out down the walkway from our house to the driveway with his head down staring at the ground. He ran right into the winged hood ornament on my Dad's '57 Chrysler and punched a hole in his forehead right between his eyes. The doctor must have had a sense of humor because he stitched it closed with an X. I still have moments where I bust out laughing when I look at his scar.

2) At 7, he and his friend decided they were going to play "forest fire" and lit the hill on fire at the end of our street. The brush fire got so large it took two fire trucks to put it out.

3) Our family home is built on a cliff which is essentially old glacial deposit that had been worn away by the river below. My brother eroded a good portion of the cliff beneath the house by trying to create a waterfall with the garden hose.

4) At 12, my brother removed the axles from a soap box derby car my dad had built(neglecting to include the brakes and steering) and attached them to a long plank. As if this wasn't bad enough, he decided to ride this contraption down the steep road from our house. He got going so fast he missed the corner at the top of the hill and went flying down an embankment. Halfway down the embankment he half slid under and got caught up on a barbed wire fence. He is now missing a good portion of his right nipple.

5) At 14, he was messing around with his pellet gun and shot himself in the finger. Fearing he would get severely reprimanded, he tried to dig the pellet out with a steak knife but was unsuccessful. A local doctor could not remove the pellet because it was so deeply embedded. My brother was sent to the next town where they decided to operate on and keep him for observation overnight due to the risk of bone poisoning from his attempted DIY surgery.

There are too many stories to mention! In all, he had been to the hospital countless times for stitches, he lost his two front teeth to some concrete steps, he punctured an eardrum, etc. The funniest thing is that he is actually a really smart guy and today works as a mechanical engineer.

Candace Clarke Burnaby, BC, Canada

Submitted on 11/19/2009

Submitted by: Candace Clarke
Reference: self written

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Maybe Toss: Lacks Excellence
Thanks for some humorous stories, Candace, however I consider many of these to be rather typical of kids growing up. A 2-year-old running headlong into an object isn't Darwinian behavior, it's a child still learning he has to pay attention to what he's doing. And the fire & flood could have easily resulted in bystanders being hurt so I don't think they're really worthy of consideration. The soapbox story is rather unique, but the pellet gun one borders on being too common simply because we get lots of stories involving guns of all sorts.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
What Bruce said. Some of his post-16 stories might be eligible, but they'd be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.


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