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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

From The Valley

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Greetings from the Valley,

We received a day pass today - so we could go to Ellsworth to re-do a couple of windows for Jeanne. Not sure if everyone remembers last year it was discovered that the windows in Jeanne's flat didn't hold the wind out the best. Our test last year was on a windy day to toilet paper unrolled. Last year we put plastic around all her winds. Wonder if everyone recalls what we mistakenly did be doing this. Do you recall Connie and I went into town to get more supplies, and when we got back, Jeanne was facing the door laying on the floor acting just like a fish that was looking to get back in the water. Jeanie was just a flopping on the floor. Last year we quickly got her out side to regain the oxygen she needed, and talk with the local fire department for the uses of their Scott Air pack for a time until we made arrangements for a better air supply.

This year we thought we were prepared for the shortage of oxygen when we installed plastic over the 2 windows that were removed last spring. We did have everything figured out - but. Through last summer, we came up with a plan that was to work well. A hose is connected to the vent used by the dryer, and the other end connect to a machine something like a shop vac. This machine had to hose connection - one for vacuum and one for delivering air. We covered all the windows - then connected this new machine to the air vent located at the dryer. All Jeanne needed to do now was put a vinyl type bag over her head. this bag type apparatus has a 1" connected that the hose from the air machine is connect to. Anyway, Connie and I went out side to wash the outside of the windows. When we got around to the window that was just on the other side of where Jeanne sits, We looked in and could see Jeanne had her head on the table and the vinyl bag was tight to her face. We quickly got back in side to rescue Jeanie. For got to mention, we left the instruction with Jeanne on how this was to be connected. By what we could see, Jeanne got all the connection hooked up correctly, but connected the hose to the suction end of the machine.

So what we say thought the window was the bag collapse around Jeannie's head and the vacuuming of the machine had pulled jennies' eye from their sockets. When we got back in - we did leave the door wide open . We assess the situation very quickly. After determining the problem, we made the adjustments. Only problem was Jeannie's eyes need to be put back into their sockets. Connie came up with the idea to use the vacuum side of this machine to suck Jeannie's eyes back in place. This didn't work as well as figures though. When getting her left eye in, had to put he suction hose to Jeanie's left ear and hold our hand over her right ear - this made a better vacuum. The same had to be done for the right eye.

It was a fright - but the new machine did work well after the 2 hoses were switched. Before we left for the evening, made sure everything was working as it was designed. The hose is long enough so Jeanne can walk any where with in her Flat and doesn't need to relocate any hoses or the machine.

So this is done for another year.

Dave & Connie

Submitted on 11/06/2009

Submitted by: Elizabeth Lexchel
Reference:

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks, but we don't accept works of fiction.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Other
What Bruce said.


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