Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 November Rejects
Argentine Model Dies After Cosmetic
Oil lamp in a saucepan
crotch shot during robbery
Man Electrocuted in Substation
Fire Officials Release Cause Of Fat
gas bottle 2
gas bottle
Man dies after a soccer goal
waiter celebrates goal and dies
Victim's family: Additional I-440 b
Malaria meds
Warcraft Death
Man killed in Maine fire was mixing
Aint no ways to go
Lad ripped his scrotum off
I Ate My Homework!
Bined by bin lorry
Gasoline Odour Remover
suburban bowling
Russian roulette
Toyota recall
British Student, 16, Falls to her D
3 Too Many
KY Census taker kills himself
Alcohol kills, smoking kills
Desperatly needs a hobby
Man blown to pieces by fireworks
High heel teen falls under train
High Heels, High Squeals
Fooling with Dynamite
drunken microlight pilots
Quotation
A One vehicle Accident Claims Life
Up in Smoke
Man, animal, loaded rifle=Karma
Extreme Road Rage
Drivin' My Life Away
Highway patrol run over
Enter the hospital: Would-be ninja
Freeze - Everybody Clap Your Hands
Never heard about the curiosity cat
Woman rescued from large sink hole
Drunk, Stoned Pilots
Florida Woman Dies After Being Thro
The Farmers and the Well
Suicide Experiment
Seattle Ninja?
New scary trend in drug abuse
Death plunge at mall
Man Who Said He Was a Ninja Impaled
Drunk Ninja Wannabe
Ninja
3 Days to Identify
Missed Target
An unsavoury tale
Toyota Gene Pool Cleanser
Drunk hammers nail into head
thief shoots off his penis
Man dies breaking into own house
He Did It Wrong
Jackass style Sled Ride
Smurf Bomb
Goal Keep Boom
All downhill from there
man dies breaking into own house
moles
Rich Texan Near Miss :)
X Rated tale in the ER
Milk the Balls?
Woman Ran Over By Her Own Car
Car-Surfing on a Full-Size RC Car
Honorary Ungulate
Deer dies after leap into DC zoo li
Deer loses head-butt with ornament
Milk the Balls??
Drunk women falls infront of train
Unlucky buck: Deer loses fight...
Explosive bank robbery
Don't Drop that Drummer!
Elevator shaft
Grizzly Man
Car Surfing
Car surfing in PR
no more children
Robber emasculates himself
Alleged robber shoots himself in cr
Darwin Award of the Millenia
Bonfire Trip
Robbery Balls Up
Robber shoots himself in crotch
Emasculating experience
Robber emasculates himself
Robber emasculates himself
MSU student's dragging death
Teen killed near Joe Louis Arena wa
Car Surfer Wipes Out in San Juan
Hide and Go Seek Coroner
Is there insurance for that?
Drunk Tourist Breaks His Neck
Man plays with rabid bat
Man charged with drunken driving af
It's only a little nip!
Yep, it's loaded.
Playing with a Wild Bat
From The Valley
Twice the Booze, Twice the Pain
Death before dishonor
239kg man dies
ManClown Killed by Train
They love trains too much
Wis. man attempts drive-by shooting
Friendly death
Look For a Car With An Arm on it
Softball not Water Polo
Christian God
Smoking kills
Deputies: Man Electrocuted Trying T
Nearly ejected from the gene pool
Plane Silly (honorary mention)
Dui on stolen lawnmover
arthur kade
Bear Kills Militants
Ran over by her own car.
The Pig Man
! want your cellular (Russian way)!
Older Rejects 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Look For a Car With An Arm on it

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I personally dn't like alchohol. My father worked on an Indian reservation, and I heard all sorts of stories of drunks ding drunk things.

This is one of them.

A small drunk man is crossing the street. There as no crosswalk, so he'l relying on the observations of others to make it across. Well, as luck would have it, he was so drunk he didn't notice a car coming down the road, and the driver, who was also, unfortunately, drunk, collided with man crossing the street.

At ninety miles an hour. Did I mention that he was small?

Well, the driver of the car had a a ruck, and therefore, the explosion of...Person?...Didn't exactly affect him. He looked back and decided he could stick around, and take the hit for what just happened, or he could made a break for it. He decided to make a run for it. So, without further ado, he continues to head down the road. Well, there was a witness nearby, and he was quite lucid. He called 911 and told them he just saw someone get nailed. The paramedics arrive and he was (or at lest almost certainly dead. Well, its a pain in the butt to deal with a dead man at that hour so they pack him ito the ambulance, and haul him off to the hospital. They arrive in, "HE'S GONNA MAKE IT, HE'S GONNA MAKE IT!..... Nevermind, he's not. Your problem." Well, the docs, are inspecting the body, and they notice....An arm is missing. totally gone. Not there. So they call the call the paramedics and make sure that they picked up everything. They say yah, so they're sitting there, trying to figure out what happened to the arm. Well, they're sitting there, and one of developes a theory...Maybe its in the cars fender...Well, they call the police, and they discover, they're right. The man was unaware of the arm in the fender, and had pulled up by a car, who informed the police.

If you willingly drin enough of something that you're not aware of people, and arms stuck in your fender, you deserve an honorable mention.

Submitted on 11/04/2009

Submitted by: Ben
Reference: Not altogether sure of either. Family Story.

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
While an amusing story, the fact still remains that this is a case of a drunk driver hitting a pedestrian. That invokes the hurt bystander rule, so we can't accept it. Thanks just the same, Ben.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
What Bruce said.


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend