Everyone in Philly today was talking about the amazing “Kade Style” Domination that Audrina Patridge, Arthur Kade, and Marshall Barnes gave at Dusk on Kadeoween, and it was funny to see how many people agreed with my assessment of Audrina (A few people commented on how awesome we all looked together including my mom, and I joked to a friend on the phone later, “Can you imagine 2 of the biggest TV stars in the world dating, but having competing shows? That would be hilarious.”), and how crazy and insane it was to see “Young Hollywood” at it’s best, but all I could think about was how tired I was today. The beauty of The Brand is that he is almost invincible, and works to the bone both professionally and socially, and the Gen Pop lives through me, but if I always go at this pace, I won’t make it to 50. I used to be able to go without sleep for days, but now that I am 31, a hungover lasts 2 days.

I am the master of not caring what “The Katers: say about me, and how some jealous and sad ones try to derail “The Journey”, but the truth is that the biggest Hater I have is the one inside of me, “The Diabetes” (My Kadeism for my Type 2 Diabetes). I was diagnosed earlier this year when I had all the symptoms (Dry Mouth, Tiredness, Lightheaded, and peeing a ton), and I knew both my grandparents had it (My grandfather died from it), but refused to take medicine my doctor wanted to give me because I can beat anything myself, and actually brought my sugar levels down with crazy work out and diet. I didn’t want pills because I heard they cause erectile dysfunction, and I remember years ago when I took home a Random Philly 8 from 32 Degrees to have some fun with and “One Night” I was so drunk and blacked out that I couldn’t get it up, and when we got up in the morning she was annoyingly weird, so I said, “What is your problem?”, and she replied “You couldn’t get hard last night”, and I said, “I was beyond fucked up. My bad”, and then had sex with her twice in the morning and then got her out of the house to go right back to sleep. Her body was sloppier than I thought it would bewhich is why drunk sex can be a disaster the next morning, because she had “Pencil Tits with Coke Can Nipples”, Thick “Baby Bearing Hips”, and was like a cavern inside. I ran into her at 32 again a couple weeks later after not calling her again, and she was mad at first but then tried to hook up with me again, but I blew her off, and when my boy asked me why, I said, “Dude, It was like The Grand Canyon in there”.

Lately, I have been very lax with my diet and drinking (I have been celebrating all of my early success in “The Journey”, and although I have been hooking up with girls left and right, I have been feeling tired and run down), and have been drinking way too much with the Phillies in the playoffs, and I am starting to see the symptoms returning (Dry Mouth, Peeing a lot, Tired and Lethargic) and to counteract I will consume 6-8 Red Bulls, 1-2 Scoops of No-Xplode, coffee, and soda throughout the day, but the truth is I need to go back into “Peak Kade Performance Mode” before the symptoms get worse. I am so focused on changing “The Biz”, and being the biggest actor and author in the world that I forget to focus on Arthur Kade. I left an email right now for the producer of the potential pilot where I play a gay doctor to see if the production schedule is near ready yet.

The Dry Mouth has made me feel like my lisp which was pretty much cured, has been showing it’s ugly head, so I went to my speech coach Sharon, who still felt that my lisp wasn’t showing up almost at all, so we worked extensively on my “ING” sounds at the end of words which I am elongating and swallowing too late so it extends the word to sound like “INGAH”. There was an amazing improvement by the end of the session, and I know that once I go into Anti Diabetes mode, I will be Prime Timing my speech again.

Here are some more pictures from The Kadeoween Celebrity Extravaganza in the 215 and AC, the videos of me working with Sharon on a speech/monologue with some hard words (Vid 1 is a dry run and Vid 2 shows me acting), and a video of a Fan who approached me on the street outside Cosi and started videotaping me so I took a pic and did a video with him as well, and when he walked away the girl with him was like “Is that Really Him?” showing how blown away she was to see The Brand in Real Life (I have attached my video and his video).

I am also being told that I have a large contingent of fans at The University Of Georgia that are girls, so I wanted to give you guys a special “Kade Out”, and remember to always use protection.

“Will Arthur Kade be a more successful actor or author? Many think he will be the Jewish Oprah”…Arthur Kade…11/03/09

Submitted on 11/03/2009

Submitted by: joescheppaeq
Reference: http://arthurkade.com/?p=4716#comments

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks, but I just don't see anything here that indicates any self-selection or anything else that's Darwin-worthy.

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Other
What Bruce said.

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