Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 September Rejects
Billings man dies while fleeing pol
Safe-crackers blow selves up
Tsunamidiots
Missouri Moron Teaching Girlfriend
Do the Lococution
woman leaping into polar bear enclo
"Wait, is that too much dyna..."
Is there gas in that?
nipple cripple
Bank Blast
Bank Robbers kill themselves
Near miss: I promise it won't explo
oktoberfest piss fall
Man kills twin brother while parkin
Beim Pinkeln in den Tod gestürzt
The origin of the word "overkill"
teen leaps
Belgian robbery suspects die blowin
Extreme Parkour
Extreme Parkour
Bank robbers blow up self, not safe
Missouri Man Teaching Girlfriend Ab
death by peeing
blown up casmachine
Man charged after prank
deadly pee
Body recovered from wreckage in Din
Bankrobbers blow up themselves
Died while peeing
Gangsters blow themselves up
Two robbers die when blowing up ATM
Death by urinating
Bank robbers
Bankblowers
Bank robbers blow themselves up
Man inserts ballpoint pen into ure
Just an update
Date with a locomotive
Enlarge Your Penis!!!!
A cobbler should stick to his last.
ATM thieves.
Bank robbers blowup bank&self
The ATM mishap
Record bank robbery
Double Darwin Awards in Belgium
Bank Kaboom
Two robbers dynamited themselves
Bankrobbers blow themselves up
Optimistic thugs
Bank robbers killed by own dynamite
Would-be robbers blow themselves up
Bankrobbers
go with a bang!
Debt crushed
Blown up
easy money or fast burial
ATM blast
Burn burglar
Tellerblast
Bankrobbers blow themselves up
Bank robber blows up himself
Dynamite, Not for everything.
Too much Dynamite
Gangster blows himself, not the ban
ATM and dynamite
Stupidity that can not be explained
Butane Lighter
Gun Safety Lesson Ends in Death
Man Dies Teaching Gun Safety
Gun Safety Lessons
Gun safety lesson that won't be for
"if you think that's scary"
Fireworks blow Jhb man apart
Mom said don't play with fireworks!
Length more important than function
Kirk Cameron's 'Origin Of Species'
Man shoots self while teaching fire
man shoots himself in the head whil
Deathbed Confession
Imperial man shoots himself in the
Gun Safety for Loonies
Adolf Award
Man Teaching Gun Safety Shoots Hims
two men killed by car wile fighting
Man fatally shot while giving gun s
Found One!!!
Man Teaching Girlfriend About Gun S
Man kills self teaching firearms sa
Gun Safety Demonstration
Gun Safety
Man is fatally shot during his gun
gun safety
Gun Safety went to his head
Man shoots himself!
Man Shoots Self In Head Teaching Gi
Czech teacher killed in zorbing acc
Missouri Man Teaching Girlfriend Ab
Al-Qaeda Gutless Wonder
Man Accidently Shoots Himself
Man teaching gun safety shoots and
Man Shoots Self in Head
Man teaches gun safety to his girl.
Chattanooga man's jump in flood wat
Imperial man shoots himself in the
Gun Safety demo turns deadly
Mini Bus-ted!
prank lands jailer in hospital
"Gun Safety Demonstration"
Safety First Pumpkin !!
How Not to Demonstrate Gun Safety
Handgun DIY
Man Shoots Himself in Head
Imperial man shoots himself in the
Unsafe Firearm Safety Lesson
5$ Bet leads to possible drowning
Man shoot himself in head
Third Time's a Charm
Eastern Missouri man dies after sho
Gun Safety
Bullets and Vices don't mix
Sports car has seven airbags but...
Imperial man shoots himself
Man Fatally Shoots Self While Teach
Man Shoots Self While Teaching Fire
Mo. man shoots himself in head
Man shoots self teaching fun safety
All in the family
Gun Safety Gone Wrong
firearm safety
Two men killed by car while fightin
Lessons in Gun Safety
man shoots self teaching gun safety
Prank lands Bandera jailer in hospi
Man shoots self while teaching fire
Earphones and Traintracks
Man Shoots Self in Head
Deputies believe alcohol was involv
4 dead in fragrance spray
Man Shoots Self While Teaching Gun
Man bets he can swim acros flood
Gun safety demo leads to fatal shot
Man shoots himself in the head whil
Firearm Safety
man shoots self in head teaching
Gun safety death
Gun Safety Gone Wrong
GUN SAFETY
Man shoots self showing gun safety
MO man accidentally kills himself w
Imperial man shoots himself in the
Down by the River Side
Burglar leaves his Facebook page on
Gun Safety Lesson Turns Fatal
2 killed, 2 missing as storms drenc
Deadly Gun Safety Demonstration
Death Match on Highway
Nomination
Man startled by cat, shoots self
Teen with headphones hit by train
Raising the Dead
Two men killed fighting in highway
Splitting Headache?
Highway Brawl
Fighters Flattened in Highway Hijin
Train Podding
wrestling on highway kills two
Way to go Dummy
Two Men Hit and Killed While Fighti
Two men die while fighting in road
NM man falls to his death re-enacti
highway rumble
Ghost hunt turns tragic
NM man falls to death re-enacting
Officials ID 2 men killed while fig
Drowned Prince
Highway Brawlers Killed
Motorcycle vs RV
Good Place for a Fight
Illinois men struck, killed while f
Jogger Killed
2 killed after fight spills out ont
The cure for road rage
Men killed while fighting on hwy
Two men fighting on Wisconsin road
Drink driver died - car hit tree
Fatal Highway Fisticuffs
Two men killed by car while fightin
men run over fighting in road
Choked eating french stick
man choked eating french stick
Tree Trimmer Dies When He Cuts Wron
Man killed in Conroe wreck of SUV c
Trimmer Dies Cutging Wrong Limb
Off Duty Cop On His Motorcycle
Samurai Sword vs. Intruder
Disassembling a grenede for selling
Mushrooms under the hill
chinese looses head
Pesticides - not for humans
Missing the train
Man pleads guilty to insurance frau
Man found dead stuck in horse
Reborn to fight World War III
Maybe, just maybe, God doesnt care
Lane Splitting
Man shocked with 100,000 volts of e
Stealing copper + Electocution
Expolisive mole killer
Woman dies hunting ghosts inToronto
Blows up building: killed
The building was still "LIVE"
What to do with a mole?...
Imperial Cuisine
Don't use Chicken Wire bridges
A good try
Man Tows Mobile Home On Blocks
jumpin the train
Follow The White Rabbit
Ghost Hunter Plunges to Death
Ghost hunter finds one.
Altar Ego
Man versus Rabbit
Ghost hunter haunts building
Ghoster becomes the Ghostee
Ghost hunter falls to death
Ghost hunter
Not to be used for that other use
Hugged himself to death
Man killed in church after stone al
Facebook cry out
Can't Swim? Get out of the pool!
"Shhh...Be vewwy, vewwy, quiet...
Potato Launcher Turned Pipe Bomb
Man Shoched After Chasing Rabbit
So much for packing a, um, rod
So much for packing a, um, rod
streaker with a difference
Coming! Down.
Kopf aus dem Auto gesteckt, Tod!
Motorcyclist vs. RV
Mailbox Hiroshima
Ridership revoked
Killed by his ego
Speeding through Stop Sign
Car set ablaze after Joliet woman
Ka-Boom! Woman uses lighter to chec
A climb too far
drowned holding breath underwater
Beer Stampede
Ignored previous submission
Driver removes keys to save petrol
smoking in bed with oxygen tank
Tourist jammed under gravestone
Lighter fuel
Riding out wildfires in a hot tub
Kinston man fatally wounds himself
and jack came timbling after
Deadly Bridge
F'n Fool Films Fat Folks For Fun
I'm Not Too Drunk to Drive
Man Dies after Eating Fentany Patch
Older Rejects 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Chattanooga man's jump in flood wat

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

CHATTANOOGA — With children and other onlookers holding umbrellas, Sylvester Kitchens stood in the flooded street, laughing and bragging he could swim an overflowing Chattanooga storm ditch outside their house.

Wearing shorts and shirtless, the 46-year-old Kitchens dared onlookers to bet him $5 he couldn't do it. Even when nobody showed any money, Kitchens jumped in.

After bobbing along in the gushing water about 150 feet late Sunday afternoon and grabbing a chain link fence above the ditch, Kitchens lost his grip as family members tried to toss him the end of a water hose. He washed away into an underground culvert.

Two days later, Chattanooga fire officials are still searching for him.

Kitchens' nephew, 22-year-old Leslie Townsend, saw it all. Townsend said he is heartbroken but doesn't want others to follow his uncle's playful example around dangerous, fast-moving water.

Townsend described his uncle as a good swimmer. He said Kitchens had not been drinking when he jumped in the rushing water and planned to grab vines that were dangling within reach from surrounding trees.

"It was more like an ego thing, like I'm going to show you I can make it out of this," Townsend said. "You ain't got to prove nothing, not when it's a matter of life and death."

Townsend said there were great nephews and other young children who saw it all.

Fire Department spokesman Bruce Garner said Monday that emergency personnel and firefighters were able to retrieve Albert Miller, who jumped in the flooded ditch behind Kitchens and was clinging to the fence. Miller was treated for hypothermia symptoms and was back at home Monday.

Garner said the search for Kitchens was hampered by the flooding conditions but was continuing.

At nearby East Ridge, flooding forced a few families to evacuate their homes, in some cases by boat.

The effects of the heavy rain continued to be felt Tuesday farther north in East Tennessee. The National Weather Service upgraded a flood warning for Cocke and Jefferson counties along the French Broad and Pigeon rivers.

Forecasters said moderate flooding was expected because extremely heavy rain in the North Carolina mountains was causing the rivers to rise higher and faster than had earlier been forecast for downtown Newport and the Edwina community.

More details as they develop online and in Wednesday's News Sentinel.

Submitted on 09/22/2009

Submitted by: Ray Sandels
Reference: * BILL POOVEY, Associated Press * Posted September 22, 2009 at 12:41 p.m.

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
Thanks, Ray, but we've already received this story a few times. Please be sure to check both the slush and reject piles for duplicates before submitting a story. Swimming beyond ones means has become amazingly common - we get lots of very similar stories.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Repeat
What Bruce said. Altho the repeats of this are probably buried in the repeats of the Imperial man who shot himself.


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend