Charles Darwin's Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 July Rejects
The good, the bad, the idiot
Demolition derby official dies fro
Extremely Distracted Drivers
Members Only
Mother drives minivan wrong way
Climbing old sparky.
Redneck Luxury Vehicle Delivery Inc
Boy wanted to become transformer
Boats Stay on Water for Lightning
propane and cigarettes
Move down wires with bare hands!
Look...No hands!
that's nice oh yeah i'm dumping you
Man Falls to Death
Homemade Chemical Warfare
Anglesey pensioner died after fireb
Russian “coolant glutton” dies tryi
Psssst.... POW
Teen killed by ride on big rig
Boy drank gasoline to copy his TV h
Brick Thieves Die Horribly as Build
Teen blown out of pickup dies
Man Loses iPhone Jumps to His Death
Burglar Stuck in Window Dies
Outback Steakhouse
Drunk Driving, Texting, No Seatbelt
Passing away at Brothels
Teen's party
Teen Accidentally Shoots Self
Man refused liver transplant dies
Teenage boy sucked into pool pump
Work-release inmate fakes own kidna
Submit forum easier
Guy inside a truck
Smoking kills
PA Experimental Arc Solderer
Coroner: Man shot self by accident
squirrels-1 Man-0
And Don't Forget to Look Both Ways
Mailbox kills woman leaning out of
Coroner: Man shot self by accident
Air Mattress Fix Causes Explosion
Excretitory missle
Man Shot Himself by Accident
man dies in wheelie bin
Teacher crushed in bin lorry
"meals on wheels"
Shocking Death, LOL
Air Conditioning via Carbon Monoxid
No Oxygen, but Cozy
He Burned His Face off Again
Dumb Bank Robber
Man tries to fix airbed, blows up a
Man dies after falling into vat of
Seconds, Please
German blows up flat with airbed
Teacher's Crush
Flat blown up in air bed accident
Woman leans from truck, hits head
There's a bear in my kitchen
Twitter is one' Killer application!
Ukrainian Talent Audition Goes Horr
Airbed Blows Up Apartment
Really Dumb Driver
Man crushed inside rubbish Truck
Relationship comes off the rails
Truck Passenger Dies When Head Hits
Bride's Bouquet is the Bomb
Nonsense Knocked into His Head
Wheelie bin man crushed to death
Turner
Dumpster Death
Looking for the Parking Croc
Tweeting to death
Teacher in garbage truck
Woman killed when she leans out of
Wheelie bin man crushed to death
Hwy 108 Runover Victim Dies
Going Postal
Woman/Truck Window/Mailbox
Dumber than Dogs
Wheelie bin man crushed to death
Fireworks Head Big Bang
Not a good place to sleep!
Teen sucked into pool pump
Scott Williams, 35, crushed to deat
Woman dies after leaning out of tru
Blumenthal style chef loses hands
Car surfers with drunk driver
Supposedly smart people win Darwins
We're Bullish on Spain.
Texting Teen falls down manhole
L.A. Worker Killed...
Woulbe rapist loses private parts
Safety First
Car theft gone wrong
Man dragged through Toronto by trai
Man dies after dive from cliff
Teenage boy sucked into pool pump
Teenage boy sucked into pool pump
It's only a pair of goggles
Teen sucked into a pool pump
Memory Machine
A ride down the tubes
Man attacks car hood, dies
HM: Texting Teen Falls Into Sewage
The wedding bouquet hits the engine
car roof surfin
Future Darwinite: The Danger of WWT
Surfing to death
Fatal car surfing
How Many Warning Lights Do You Need
Gonne Fishing
OMG. S#it
Woman kills man during foreplay
Russian Talent Show
Not quite - but this guy is definit
Stopped on a dime?
Man dies from falling in chocolate
Died from [obvious] lack of Oxigen
Death by Chocolate
I can't put my finger on it.
Falling Into Vat of Choclate
Suicide bomber kills only himself
Emboscada de "Zetas"
dibble man killed by freak firework
Man blows himself up while fishing.
Yet Another Dumb Copper Thief
quad bike over cliff
'Car surfer' dies from injuries in
car in fatal crash flies onto 14
Bing, Bang, and Crash
Car Surfer Dies in Quebec
Propane sniffer burned after lighti
SUV Surfing
One Last Cigarette
Expreme Car Surfer dies in Montreal
Robber Killed
Urban Surfing No Charmed Exisitance
Car surfing in Quebec
Canadian Car Surfing with Charm
Penis Amputation
Propane sniffer burned after lighti
Man dies from car surfing injuries
Car Surfer
Fish food
Eastern Cape SA Initiations
Skateboarder dies "skitching"
Fishing With Dynamite
Wife blows MI6 chief’s cover
Boy asphyxiated on clothes line
Pond Eddy man electrocuted
Never doubt the gun is loaded
Chano Baba's curve.
Bradley soccer still healing from f
Fishy business
Respect me in the morning?
Man climbs barricade and drowns
Robber Killed with Own Gun
David Caradine
Plastic Surgery Done Cheap
Balancing Act
Exit where entered
Two Separate Bridges?
LOOK before You leap
Bike rider killed at Anchorage inte
He doubted the gun was loaded.
Python stops genes from petowner
Tattoos used to ID copper thief
Sullivan County Man Electrocuted
Gas Station Robbers Caught When The
Don't let your Friends Drink & Saw
POWER THIEF
Michael Jackson Wins 2009 Darwin
Older Rejects 
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Excretitory missle

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Note: This isn't in any media sources, instead I got the story because I know Sean personally, so this can be a Personal Account nomination.

Sean owned a Bed and Breakfast in Alaska, and one winter he discovered that the sewer pipe was frozen. Because of how it was positioned, he had to jump on his shed roof to get under it. He decided the best way to thaw the sewer pipe was with a heat gun. He stood to the side and turned the heat on. It wasn't thawing. He decided that to unlodge 2,000 pounds of frozen feces he would need to get a closer look at what he was doing, so he stuck his head directly underneath the pipe. After a couple seconds he withdrew his head from underneath the pipe, but the frozen behemoth continued to clog the pipe. He stuck his head underneath the pipe again and blew with the heat gun. He withdrew his head. Where his head had been a millisecond earlier, the one ton missile of frozen excrement came barreling out of the pipe, punched a hole through the 1/2 inch plywood of his shed roof, and crashed to the floor below. Sean escaped with only a damaged shed, but it was a very near miss.

Submitted on 07/18/2009

Submitted by: Simon Viavant
Reference: 1980s

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Shadow said:
Definitely Keep: Urban Legend
This seems more of an Urban Legend then anything else.


Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Maybe I'm not reading this right but it sounds awfully fishy to me. If this guy lived in Alaska he'd certainly be familiar with pipes freezing and how to properly thaw them if necessary. And the way I read it this sewer line was above a shed and was big enough to contain 2000 pounds of frozen sewage? And it emptied out directly over the shed in such a way that the trajectory was onto the shed? I'm sorry but this story just doesn't seem to make sense to me. Thanks anyway.


Tracy said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Sorry, but I would have thought Alaskans knew the danger of frozen pipes.... it sounds a bit of a tall tale to me


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Urban Legend
What they said.


James said:
Definitely Toss: Urban Legend
One ton of excrement is a LOT of excrement, and it wouldn't all freeze at once. Unless the sewer line in question was as big as the Alaska pipeline, I completely doubt it could hold that amount of waste. Perhaps the tale is true, but the details really make this unbelievable, even as a personal account!


The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend