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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Freakin Awesome

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Every spring break the guys from my youth group would pack up, head out into the Ochoco National Forest and spend three or four days enjoying some good ol' nature and male bonding. We would set out with the intent to hang out around the campfire, tell jokes and stories, eat profusely, and just plain get away from the rest of life for a few days, but each year we would forget that March weather conditions in the Ochocos are not what most would call relaxing. Most years we would grumble about it a bit and tough it out, but one year it was specifically bad and we decided to pack up and head home a day early. We had brought gasoline to ensure getting our fires started easily, and had plenty left over, so we all decided to have some fun.

Everything seemed to be going fine until my best friend came up with the idea of spitting fireballs. Taking a tin can, a little gasoline, and a long stick with an ember on it, he took a quick swig of the gas and spit it out in the direction of the tip of the stick. Sure enough, it worked! Joining him, the two of us oohed and ahhed as we spit flame after flame, each time more leftover gasoline dribbling down our chins. The noxious fumes from the gas giving my friend a headache, I was left alone to practice my art until I made what should have been a catastrophic mistake. Bringing the ember too close to my mouth, the gasoline caught on fire with "blast back", the gas trailing back to catch my face on fire.

Immediately turning and running blindly into the woods behind me, I slapped at myself repeatedly, beating at the flames, and somehow managing to close my mouth and suffocate the flame there. Quelling the flames after what seemed like forever; I turned back to my friends and shouted "THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!"

So many things could have gone disastrously wrong that day. Had I swallowed any of the gas, ran into some brush, or a myriad of other possibilities, I probably wouldn't be here today. As it turned out, I walked away with a few minor burns which healed in about a week, and I no longer had to shave from the camping trip, although I was no longer sporting eyebrows either.

Submitted on 06/08/2009

Submitted by: Derek Swanson
Reference:

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Too Common
Thanks, Derek, but amateur fire breathing attempts are pretty common. We've gotten lots of similar stories like this one: http://darwinawards.com/personal/personal2005-14.html


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Too Common
What Bruce said, but I absolutely LOVE the write-up!


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