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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

A Boatload of Stupidity

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My father witnessed this hilarious incident several years ago, and frequently retells the story. I am certain it is true, as several others who were with him have told the same story will little variation.

My family has been vacationing at Lake George, in eastern New York, for generations. It is a very enjoyable place, though many tourists flock to it yearly. Many rent boats from the local marinas, and generally manage to run into rocks quickly. However, this family was far less lucky.

The family consisted of a mother, father and their young daughter, who was probably around 7 or 8. They rode into the bay in which my parents were anchored, barely avoiding a clearly marked rock. Once they had stopped, they tried to figure out how to operate the anchor.

After a while, the father jumped into the water, while the other two watched. He swam around to the front, and yelled out six words which made everyone gape in disbelief: "Okay honey, throw me the anchor!"

For those of you unfamiliar with boats, the anchor is a large, heavy metal object tied to a length of rope. You throw it into the water, let out a sufficient amount of line (Generally one foot vertical for every six feet horizontal is a good ratio), and tie it off. It then secures your boat to the lake floor, preventing you from drifting.

Anyway, the wife stands up on the seat, a horrible idea in a boat that small. She grabs the anchor rope a few feet above the actual anchor. To gain momentum, she first swings it back, the forwards. As it swings back, she hits here daughter quite hard in the mouth with it. However, she does not immediately notice, and continues with the throw.

At the height of the anchor's swing, she releases it. It lands squarely on her husband's head. Now there is a child with an injured mouth, a husband with a head injury, and a wife who, in her surprise, falls off the boat into the water. The husband surfaces, with his head bleeding profusely. They climb back into the boat and ride away, probably in search of a hospital. They never tied off the anchor, so it is left behind in their haste to get away. My parents, as well as everyone else in the bay, are of course doubled over in hysterics. I can only imagine what their friends at home will think of their misadventure.

Submitted on 05/21/2009

Submitted by: Kealan Kilcoyne
Reference: None (Personal Account)

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks for an absolutely mind-boggling story, Kealan. If it wasn't for the fact that the young girl was injured I definitely would vote to accept this. But she's most definitely an unwitting victim of her mothers stupidity and can't be blamed for that. Frankly it doesn't surprise me to hear about such antics on lakes like Lake George. It actually reminds me of something I witnessed in Boston Harbor about 15 years ago while on a Coast Guard safety patrol. We saw a boat heading for some fairly clearly marked rocks but before we could stop them we saw them hit at a very slow speed, damaging their engine as a result. The operators response when we finally got to him: "Well my GPS told me to turn left here".


James said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
Like Bruce said, this would have been a keeper if that poor innocent kid wasn't hurt! A VERY entertaining story just the same, Kealan!


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