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Tacoma woman kills self playing wit
Justice, Middle-East Style
one time to many
Men almost die after drinking, poac
High Voltage Parkour
Woman killed talking on cell phone
Three floors down
Please - wait for the Electrician.
Texas man burned after using lighte
Illiterate?
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Spear Fishing and Using your Head
TAG - You're Hit
GO death ruled 'misadventure'
To ski or Not to ski...???
Anchors Away!
Drunken stunt driver
FALLS FROM BALCONY
Electricution by gas motor trimmer
Two men killed in apparent drunken
Man dies from sex with a horse
STATE POLICE
This blows your brain...
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Man dies after bottle mishap
Extreame oops
Shane McConkey dies ski base jumpin
Blundering Afghan suicide bomber
Irish Hitman
The Machines are coming....
no lid for the gas container
The perfect shot
Student Dies after skylight fall
Looks Like A Good Place To Sleep
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indira gandhi pm of india
Blundering Afghan suicide bomber
I am bleeding but I...
Dead Terrorist
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Never Pee On An Electric Fence
Limerick shooting filmed on mobile
Pedestrian on Cell Phone walks ints
Lessons On How To Kill A Man
GPS trust
Crime boss is videoed shooting him
Robber crashes getaway car, buses
Old Stud Getting on a Bottle
Bottled up
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Indonesian Man Killed by Komonos
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Smile for Death
Payload's in the Breach, Sunshine
I wanted to see what it felt like
Gang leader accidentally blows his
Komodo dragons kill Indonesian fish
Death by "misadventure"
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If he had brains he'd be dangerous
take the GO train to Misadventure
Ridiculous Complaints
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Satnav leads to brink of disaster
Gang leader shoots himself
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Kid hang himself,
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limerick man shows off how to kill
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did you saw that ?
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Limerick's Own
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Check Methane levels with torch
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How's the View Now?
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Heres how you shoot someone!
How not to kill yourself
Irish Gangster Accidentally Kills
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You can't beat theory
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Gangland idiot
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Closer ... closer ...
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Me, i can drink anythin
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A hot ending.
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Darwin Award to Science
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Easyjet flight takes a dive
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Darwin Awards
2009 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Rest Stop Retrieval

2009 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Here is the original story, with a few comments of my own. This is an HM. I am sure someday Darwin will hear of him again.

You could call it a new version of "the road less traveled." Unless you are poop. In this case it appears to be quite the appropriate road.

Filer emergency crews retrieved an unidentified Ada County man from a rest area toilet Thursday afternoon, after he climbed into a waste tank and became stuck.

The man was found just before noon by another driver that stopped at the U.S. Highway 30 rest area west of town, according to Filer Police Chief Cliff Johnson. Filer police responded to a 911 call, along with the Filer Fire Department, Filer Quick Response and a paramedic from St. Luke's Magic Valley Medical Center. I guess this poop brained schmuck believes in magic.

Johnson said the man, who asked police not to be identified, was unable to find his car keys after using the lavatory. He is unable to find his own you-know-what even if you gave him a flashlight, so what do you expect? Thinking his keys had fallen in the tank, the man removed a round plastic cover at the base of the toilet and climbed in to find them. Obviously, he was expecting to pick up a few rose petals and some lavender oil as well.

Johnson is sure being charitable here - "Thinking" seems quite a stretch. What is wrong with a magnet on a pole? But then 10 taxpayer funded responders are cheaper than paying for a local mechanic or plumber yourself.

Once inside he was unable to pull himself out, and waited until someone else arrived.

"He hadn't been there too long, only 10 or 15 minutes," Johnson said. Too bad the fumes didn't get him first. How many walking turds do we need anyway?

At least 10 emergency response personnel responded to the 911 call, according to Johnson and a dispatch supervisor at Southern Idaho Regional Communication Center. And, of course the local taxpayers paid for all this.

Eventually the man was retrieved through an access hole used to pump the waste out of the tank. If you can't pump the waste out, you pull the waste out.

"It took some lifting to get him out, and he had cut himself pretty good trying to get himself out," Johnson said. Obviously he was not exactly skinny. Did he think his fat would magically turn to muscle?

The man was allowed to wash off with the fire truck hose at the scene, where he made another painful discovery.

"That's when he discovered the keys were still in his back pocket," Johnson said.

Both the SIRCOMM supervisor and Johnson said crews didn't ask the man for his name, which wasn't required since no charges or citation were issued.

"He didn't want to give it to us, and that was fine with us," said Taylor Hunsaker, a dispatch supervisor at SIRCOMM. "We didn't want to embarrass him any more than that." Yeah, right. The real reason is that his name would have made the police report unprintable.

"It was recommended that he seek some medical treatment and get himself cleaned up," Johnson said. Good advice. This schmuck obviously needs mommy's guidance every step.

Submitted on 03/07/2009

Submitted by: Tom
Reference: http://www.magicvalley.com/articles/2009/03/06/news/local_state/156587.txt?cfm=pooOnYou

Copyright © 2009 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
Thanks, Tom, but it doesn't sound like this guy was every in any true danger but just stuck in a rather embarrassing location.


Candi said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
What Bruce said.


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