Slush Pile: Over the Years...

2008 Slush Pile

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Over the Years...

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

These are some rather odd deaths from over the past several thousand years, and they are certainly Darwin Award worthy.

458 BC: Aeschylus, Greek playwright, was killed when an eagle dropped a live tortoise on him, mistaking his bald head for a stone. The tortoise survived.

430 BC: Empodocles, Pre-Socratic philosopher, jumped into an active volcano (Mt. Etna). Apparently, this was to prove his immortality.

272 BC: Pyrrhus of Empirus, the famous conquerer and source of the term "pyrric victory" died while fighting an urban battle in Argos on the back of an elephant when an old woman threw a roof tile at him, which killed him.

207 BC: Chrysippus, a Greek stoic philosopher , is believed to have died of laughter after watching his drunk donkey attempt to eat figs.

336: Arius, the heretical priest who precipitated the Council of Nicea, farted and evacuated his internal organs.

1322: Humphrey de Bohun 4th Earl of Hereford was fatally speared through the anus by a pikeman hidden under the bridge during the Battle of Boroughbridge.

1556: The Mughal Emperor Humayun was descending from the roof of his library after observing Venus , when he heard the mu'azaan, or call to prayer. Humayun's practice was to bow his knee when he heard the azaan, and when he did his foot caught the folds of his garment, causing him to fall down several flights. He died 3 days later of the injuries at the age of 47.

1865: Lord Francis Douglas died after falling 4000 feet, having completed the first summit of the Matterhorn.

1899: Felix Faure, French president, died of a stroke while in his office. It is popularly believed that he was "in the arms of his mistress" at the time, perhaps receiving oral sex.

1925: Zishe (Seigmund) Breitbart, a circus strongman and Jewish folklore hero, died as a result of a demonstration in which he drove a spike through five one-inch thick oak boards using only his bare hands. He accidentally pierced his knee. The spike was rusted and caused an infection which led to fatal blood poisoning.

1927: Isadora Duncan, dancer, died of accidental strangulation and a broken neck when one of the long scarves she was known for caught on the wheel of a car in which she was a passenger.

1939: Finnish actress Sirrka Sari, died when she fell down a chimney. She was at a cast party celebrating the completion of a movie, her third and last. She mistook a chimney for a balcony and fell into a heating boiler, dying instantly.

1944: Inventor and chemist Thomas Midgley, Jr.accidentally strangled himself with the cord of a pulley-operated mechanical bed of his own design.

1978: Claude François, a French pop singer, was electrocuted when he tried to change a light bulb whilst standing in his bathtub which was full of water at the time.

1993: Garry Hoy, a Toronto lawyer, fell to his death after he threw himself through the glass wall on the 24th floor of the Toronto-Dominion Centre in order to prove the glass was "unbreakable."

2003: Timothy Treadwell, an American environmentalist who had lived in the wilderness among bears for thirteen summers in a remote region in Alaska, along with his girlfriend Amie Huguenard, were killed and partially consumed by a bear. An audio recording was captured on a video camera (the lens-cap was in place during the incident), but the tape has never been released to the public. Werner Herzog's documentary film, Grizzly Man, discusses Treadwell and his death.

2005: Kenneth Pinyan of Enumclaw, Washington died of acute peritonitis after submitting to anal intercourse with a stallion. Pinyan had had sex with a horse before. Pinyan delayed his visit to the hospital for several hours out of reluctance to admit what happened. The case led to the criminalization of bestiality in Washington.

2007: Surinder Singh Bajwa, the Deputy Mayor of Delhi, India, was kicked by a Rhesus Macaque monkey at his home and fell from a first floor balcony, suffering serious head injuries. He later died from his injuries.

All these years, and we still haven't learned that much... Oh well! More laughs for us!

Submitted on 09/05/2008

Submitted by: Logan Hall
Reference:

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Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks, Logan, but we don't accept lists like these. Submissions should really be individual and provide more than just a one line summary. On top of that, some of these I recognize as repeats of submissions we've already received numerous times over the years (like Timothy Treadwell), and others are just unfortunate accidents (Surinder Singh Bajwa) or clearly lack self-selection (Humphrey de Bohun). This is why we don't accept lists - I could keep going on. Thanks just the same.

Candi said:
Definitely Toss: Other
What Bruce said. Try the "Classical Corner" or "Strange Deaths" sections of the "Fortean Times" magazine, www.forteantimes.com/ They sometimes print stuff like this.

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2008 Slush Pile

Over the Years...

2008 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance