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2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Freefall D. Rector.

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Now here's one that has "Darwin" Written all over it. and you have to thank Sir Issac Newton and his "First Law of Motion" of Gravity (Where a body in motion stays in Motion until a force acts upon it).

Now our hapless experimenter of this law, was a 22 year old man by the name of David Rector, Now Mr. Rector (Let's call him D. Rector), was a baseball catcher and a fifth year senior at Lindsey College in Columbia Kentucky, and he was visiting Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, with a few of his close college friends for the summer and they decided to check into the Hotel Blue located in said city.

Now being a college student Mr. Rector should have learned a little thing about Newtonian Physics and in this case he took a test in simplicity itself and in the end, he ended up getting an F in Physics but an A in the course of Natural Selection.

So after having a few alcoholic drinks Mr. Rector, along with his friends, decided to go out on the town before returning later that evening back to the hotel. Now while his friends were waiting for the elevator, Mr. Rector, went out onto the hotel balcony in a bit of a blind stinking drunk stupor and sat up on a brick wall that surrounded said balcony.

And this is where or little Newtonian Physics test starts in.. Mr. Rector was sitting up on this wall, resting, and according to Newton's first law, A body at rest stays at rest until acted upon by an outside force.

So as Mr. Rector sat there, he was perfectly safe as long as some outside force didn't come along to upset the balance.

But then along came said force as Mr. Rector noticed something above him and being the usual curious type, Mr. Rector decided to lean back..

Of course Mr. Rector in his blind drunken ignorance forgot to remember he was sitting on a brick balcony wall ... located on the 10th floor of the Hotel Blue.. and it was at that point Newtons first Law of Motion went into full play as gravity took over and he plummeted 50 feet off the side of the hotel before ending up impacting into a 5th story cememt parking garage deck, at which point the other half of the Law kicked in. Namely a Body in motion will remain in motion until acted upon by an outside force, in this case, a cement parking deck.

Now let's review the facts of our natural selection test shall we?

1. Reproduction.. If he had gotten some that night before going out, the gene pool will produce another David Rector, who might follow in his potential father's footsteps but still considering his age, it's more than likely he isn't going to be able to reproduce more little Rectors.

2. Self Selection He was drunk, and blind stinking so.

3. Self Selection. He (Mr. Rector) put himself up on that wall rather than playing it safe and waiting for the elevator with his friends. Plus he looked up leaned back and let gravity do the rest.

4. Age at 22 he either was man enough to get some or none at all..

5 Veracity This one comes from the Myrtle Beach Online Newspaper and in fact this is the fourth such incident where people have fallen out of windows/balconies in this city and 2 of them have been fatal..(so believe me there's at least 1 good Darwin with a possible second here.

So if Mr. Rector has learned his lesson it was one thing.. He got an F for Physics but an A for Biology for being naturally selected to be removed from the Gene Pool.

Submitted on 08/06/2008

Submitted by: Paul Bender
Reference: http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/news/local/story/543627.html

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Too Common
While this is a great original writeup, I'm afraid I have to vote to toss this for being too common. The referenced article alone lists no fewer than 6 similar accidents, and we've got many more in our archives. Thanks just the same, Paul.


Tracy said:
Definitely Toss: Too Common
It's a brilliant writeup - thanks - but unfortunately there are just too many stories where people have fallen off balconies while drunk. Sorry


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