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Darwin Awards
2008 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

4 histories

2008 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

My name is William Mort and I am french!

I wanted to report you some crazy (but true) histories I have read in the NORD-ECLAIR newspaper (french newspaper in the North of france) that printed them in the 80's and the beginning of the 90's. I am sorry not being able to produce a proof of what I am writing, but I can swear you that I do not lie.

history one happened in Belgium.

an old women living alone in the top flat of a tower decided to commit a suicide. She went on her balcony and "jumped" over it. As it looks like, when she jumped the wind must have blown pretty hard and the thin old lady has been sent alive onto the balcony right under hers where she died of... an heart attack!

history two happened in Norway

After a party night, a young man got so drunk that on his way back home he ended up on the railroad where he felt asleep. Later came a train that saw him far too late to stop before driving over him. Luckily the guy was so drunk that he did not noticed the noisy chaos of the train right over him. If he would have noticed it, he may have woken up, rosen up his head and would have died instantly.

history three happened in England.

A man was interested to buy an house in the countryside. He was visiting it and checking it carefully. He checked the fireplace and found out that it was someting wrong with it. After some further checkings, it appeared that something obstruated the pipe of the fireplace. this something was actually the dead body of a theft who had no better idea to come into the house using the chimney. This was not his best idea, because he got stucked to death trying to commit a robbery in an... empty house!

history four happened in France

A norwegian guy who was in holliday in France had no better idea to commit a robbery in the resting room of a local police station. He had already gathered together TV, video tape recorder, camera, and so on until he found the bar and all its bottles. Then come the best part of the history when in the morning the police employees found in the resting room, the totally drunk theft sleeping besides of all the goods he planned to steal.

well that s all I can remember that I have read BY MYSELF from an official source, so I know that it can get some credits.

Best regards William MORT

Submitted on 03/09/2008

Submitted by: William Mort
Reference: Nord Eclair (french newspaer) - 80's and early 90's

Copyright © 2008 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Thanks for the various stories, William. Here are my thoughts on them: 1. We typically don't award suicides except in extreme cases. 2. This sounds like a repeat of a story we already received. 3. This borders on too common. We get stories of crooks getting stuck in chimneys and other small places fairly regularly. 4. This is just a "dumb crook" story that is much more appropriate for sites like dumbcrooks.com


James said:
Maybe Toss: Other
For the most part, I am inclined to agree with Bruce. These are highly amusing stories, and your write-up is well-done, but they simply don't meet the criteria for an award. I do like your style, however, and hope you will submit again in the future! (BTW, doesn't "Mort" mean "death" in French? If so...cool!!!! :-)


Jorge said:
Definitely Toss: Other


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