Slush Pile: A Pocket Full of Salt

2007 Slush Pile

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A Pocket Full of Salt

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a Personal Account. It is now safe to submit this due to the fact the statute of limitations has long since expired as have all of the participants.

Charlie Shetler was an old neighbor of ours when we were growing up. Talkative and full of "it" as my mother used to say, but nice. One day he was telling us about a little adventure he and his brother-and-law had.

Back in the earlier days, the Des Moines police had what they called "Open Season". When they had someone doing something bad and the police couldn't catch the person in the act or didn't have enough evidence to make an arrest, the police declared an "Open Season" on the guy. The only rule during "Open Season" was that the suspect still had to be breathing when the police picked him up off of the ground. Needless to say, this left a lot of leeway in what was considered to be fair and honorable in the public's dealing with the perpetrator.

There was a low-life in the neighborhood going around breaking car windows with a ball bat. The police had a pretty good idea who was behind this one-man crime spree but had no evidence. The police decided to declare an "Open Season" on the jerk in the hopes the public could assist. This is where Charlie and his brother-in-law stepped in.

Our heroes pried open two 12-gauge shells, removed the shot and replaced it with rock salt. They loaded up a double-barrel shotgun and hid in the bushes. Pretty soon, the nitwit appeared, walking down the street with a ball bat on his shoulder. Just as the jerk stopped beside a parked car and started a mighty swing, Charlie's brother-in-law pulled both triggers. Both barrels in the back pockets - probably made quite a lasting impression. Mighty Casey dropped the bat and was still flat on the concrete screaming his head off when the cops and the meat wagon showed up. Charlie and his accomplice were still standing in plain sight with the shotgun when one of the officers walked by and gave them a nice salute and a "thanks, guys" as he headed back to his squad car. The screaming from the back of the ambulance was probably louder than the siren as they headed off to the hospital to get that rock salt removed. That was the last time in our neighborhood that someone broke a car window with a ball bat - word must have gotten around that this was not a good idea...

Submitted on 12/28/2007

Submitted by: Ray Wooc
Reference: Personal Account

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Toss: Other
While this is a very amusing and well-written story, it isn't a tale of stupidity...it's a tale of community spirit! With some embellishment, your story might be appropriate for Reader's Digest! Unfortunately, it's not quite what we're seeking, but we'll see what my fellow mods say. Seriously, do consider re-writing it and sending it off to Reader's Digest! :-)

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
It is an amusing story but it's essentially a case of vigilantism and there's no self selection involved. Thanks just the same, Ray.

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2007 Slush Pile

A Pocket Full of Salt

2007 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance