Slush Pile: Ex-Girlfriend Supports Darwin

2007 Slush Pile

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Ex-Girlfriend Supports Darwin

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

I'm sure you'll get many write ups on this but it's just too funny. I have to add my own spin to this -- it's just too tempting.

"Way back into ex’s heart not through chimney Drunk man gets stuck; woman tells rescuers: ‘Leave him ... and let him die’

--Editor's Note: Connie DeWeese clearly supports natural selection. However, our finest (rightfully so) choose not to yield.

"Updated: 9:15 p.m. ET Sept 19, 2007 EVANSVILLE, Ind. - Firefighters had to tear though a wall to rescue an intoxicated man who became stuck while trying to climb down a chimney into the residence of his former girlfriend.

"Alejandro Valencio said he was drunk when he got into the chimney about 3:30 a.m. Tuesday.

" 'Everyone do stupid things sometimes when they're drunk,' he said.

--Editor's Note: Intoxication interfering with one's wits may prevent an HM for him... darn!

"Firefighters requested assistance from police after arriving because they said Connie Deweese was hampering the rescue effort by blocking the fireplace.

" 'I told them to leave him in the chimney and let him die,' said Deweese, who received misdemeanor citations for disorderly conduct and interfering with a firefighter.

--Editor's Note: Should she be charged as such or should consideration be given to an attempt to allow chlorination of the gene pool? Not that I'm a euthenasia supporter ...

"Deweese said she had known Valencio for about eight months but had told him to stay away from her residence. She said she locked the doors but 'somehow he got to the roof.'

--Editor's Note: Clear evidence that even though he was intoxicated, with warnings, he made an attempt to earn a Darwin Award. The fact he could die in the process didn't occur to him.

" 'I've dated a lot of psychos in my life, but nobody like that,' Deweese said.

--Editor's Note: Not guilty by reason of supporting Darwinian Natural Selection. Clearly she's trying to keep his genes out of the pool, as well as his jeans out of her bedroom.

Valencio returned to the residence after being treated at a hospital and was filmed by a local TV station as Deweese hit him with a garbage can and pelted him with bottles.

--Editor's Note: He couldn't have been so drunk to interfere with hits wits this long. Clearly after all this, returning to the scene is evidence of the lack of wits deserving of an Honorable Mention.

"Get off my porch, and don't you ever come back here," she yelled.

--Editor's Note: Again, clear evidence of seeing the need to clear the gene pool. By avoiding a relationship and thus procreation, she's attempting to create a "Non-Lethal Darwin Award". That is, if all others refuse, his genes are out of the pool and he survives. Hey, gotta try for a new category here: Evidence clearly supports such a possible unseen potential award.

Valencio said he had a job and would help pay for the damages incurred from his rescue.

--Editor's Note: Dern ... a moment of clarity, possibly defeating my efforts to get him an Honorable Mention!

Submitted on 09/20/2007

Submitted by: Mike Durthaler
Reference: MSNBC 20 Sep 2006

>> Moderator Scores <<

Graham said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
Thanks, Mike, but this sounds like a typical if bizarre drunken brawl, unfortunately involving the emergency services. I bet they get tired of dealing with drunks and their antics.

Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: No Self-Selection
This is a pretty bizarre story but as Graham said it sounds more like a drunken brawl than anything else. I suppose he could have ended up dead if the police & fire department didn't show up but that's just speculation. Thanks just the same, Mike.

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2007 Slush Pile

Ex-Girlfriend Supports Darwin

2007 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance