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Darwin Awards
2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Crook Cooks in School Vent

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Maintenance workers investigating a strange smell Wednesday morning discovered a dead man deep in a heating vent at Russian Jack Elementary, according to the Anchorage Police Department.

The body was identified later in the afternoon as Michael Nix, 21, who had been missing since he left his apartment near the school on Aug. 24.

"He said he was going to get something from his car, and he never came back," said his sister, Sasha Loyd.

Nix was living with his girlfriend on East 20th Avenue. He'd been drinking that night, his sister said. An alcohol container was found with the body, said police spokesman Paul Honeman.

The vent, which is 36 inches in diameter, can be accessed from the roof of the school. A person could possibly fall in, Honeman said, but it was more likely Nix climbed into the vent deliberately.

The body was lodged where the vent makes a "T," connecting to several boilers inside the building.

Staff in the school reported an odd smell beginning late last week, according to John Goetz, the first police officer on the scene Wednesday morning.

"It was kind of like dead rot, kind of a weird smell," said Rogel Parcon, a Russian Jack custodian whose child attends the school.

Maintenance people began taking the heating system apart Wednesday morning, chasing the source of the odor, Goetz said. They thought it was a chemical leak, but then they found clothing.

"When they looked up into the vent, they were able to see portions of the body," Goetz said. "I think the torso area."

The vent is an outflow for extremely hot carbon-monoxide-laden air, Honeman said. It can reach 300 degrees. The system had to be turned off to retrieve the body.

Police used an ID found in the clothing to identify Nix.

Loyd was still in shock Wednesday evening. Someone must know how her brother ended up in the vent, she said.

"I just don't think my brother would be on the roof of a school by himself," she said. "There's no way my brother would go up there by himself for fun. It's just not my brother."

Nix graduated from Service High School and was working for a wholesaler on International Airport Road, she said.

"He was a really, really good kid," she said.

Despite the body in the vent the school day went on as usual, said Heidi Embley, Anchorage School District spokeswoman.

"Since it didn't involve any students attending school today, school officials and police decided it was safe," she said. "The location of the investigation was not accessible to students."

The school sent a letter explaining the situation home with the children.

The body was still in the vent when the bell rang, ending the school day. A number of news trucks, their satellite poles extended, crowded the entrance to the school campus as children poured out. One neighbor watched through binoculars as a police officer and someone in scrubs from the medical examiner's office appeared to enter one of the roof vents.

Parent Denise Geffe shepherded her kindergartner through the parking lot. When she saw all the police cars and reporters at the school she started to panic.

"I'm still shaking, I thought something had happened to my boy," she said.

Katchen Helwig was less worried as she walked her son Devonte, who is 7, away from the school, a backpack hanging from his shoulders, a box of raisins in his hand.

"What happened?" he asked his mom.

"They found a dead person over there," she told him.

"Oh. My. God." he said, staring at the roof.

Helwig figured it was best to be honest with him about what happened, she said.

"We watch 'Law & Order' so he sees it all the time," she said.

Honeman said homicide detectives are investigating Nix's death.

Find Julia O'Malley online at adn.com/contact/jomalley or call 257-4591.

Submitted on 09/06/2007

Submitted by: Karl Swanson
Reference: Anchorage Daily News 9/6/07

Copyright © 2007 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Right now all we have is essentially a mysterious death. There's no definite proof of stupidity, nor is there presently any motive. Until such information is brought to light, any stupidity is conjecture. Thanks just the same, Karl, and do keep us posted if there's any new info!


Bruce said:
Definitely Toss: Other
As James indicated we really need more information on this incident to determine if this guy was Darwin worthy. Thanks for sending this in, Karl.


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