Slush Pile: Chivalry can get you a Darwin!

2007 Slush Pile

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Chivalry can get you a Darwin!

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

There's a commercial out there that says, 'Friends don't let Friends drive drunk.'

But when you try to reason with a drunk driver who's in the car already and is getting ready to drive away, it's best to let them get the Darwin award for their stupidity rather then trying to reason with them and get yourself killed in the process!

Case in Point: This last Saturday Evening (July 20th, 2007), Louis Wiederer,26 of Centereach, N.Y I guess was out on a date with a woman by the name of Jesenia Vega, and Poor Louis being the chivalrous type probably cared too much about Jesenia, when both of them were out at a block party and Jesenia had a few too many drinks..and was definitely intoxicated.

Now if Louis had been the smart one here, he wouldn't have started an argument with Jesenia, and in fact well before she got in the car, he should have taken away her car keys.

But when Jesenia started to argue with Louis about her ability to drive while intoxicated, Louis should have stepped back and let Jesenia make the mistake.

But then that's when this story flips and takes a turn for the worst.

“You can’t drive like that,” Witnesses overheard Louis saying to Jesenia, and Jesenia I guess denied her intoxication, and proceeded to get into the car, get the keys out and start the car.

and at that point, Louis should have let it go.. but he didn't.. He was way too Chivalrous.

and they say Chivalry is dead.. well in Louis' case, Chivalry got him killed.

Rather then letting Jesenia go on her merry intoxicated way, Louis grabbed onto the side of the Jesenia's car, and began to yell for her to stop. But rather then listen to our chivalrous hero Louis, Jesenia put the car into gear, and immediately put the petal to the metal..with Louis still holding onto the side of the car.

But then Louis might have had a little too much to drink himself, or he might not have been able to hold on, but when he lost his grip on the side of the car, he fell and slipped under the wheels, and got himself a one way ticket to Valhalla, where all Chivalrous dudes go when they die.

As for Jesenia? Well she's now sitting in Jail, awaiting trial for driving while intoxicated, and possibly involuntary manslaughter.

But then the real question is this.. Who should get the Darwin? Jesenia really didn't kill herself, but she killed Louis.. and Louis of course I guess in a moment of chivalrous passion, decided to keep her safe, and ended up going to Valhalla.. At least now, Louis can spend time with all those cute Valkyrie women...

So if you think Chivalry is dead, think again.

But this is perhaps the first time I've ever heard of a Darwin award being given to a guy who was 'just being a little bit too chivalrous, and in the end, he should have let reasoning take over..

But then Let's take a look at this from the Rules Stand point.

1. Reproduction. Louis I am guessing wasn't married.. Maybe he was dating Jesenia, and thus he doesn't have kids. *Check*

2. Excellence - In Louis' case he should have just let it go, but he didn't.. in that moment of chivalry, reason lost and Chivalry won.. with disasterous results. *Check*

3.Self-Selection Louis had a choice.. he could have let her go and get her own Darwin award.. but nope.. He chose to do it himself by being chivalrous! *Check*

4 Maturity - Louis was 26.. well past the 16 year old limit.. *Big Check-roo-ski*

5. Verifcation - Again MSNBC wins this one.. *Check Check Check*...

So guys a word of advice if a lady says she's drunk and able to drive.. let her go.. after all you don't want to end up like Louis now would you?

and Ladies, if you are drunk.. don't argue with your date.. Because your argument might get him killed, and leave you out of the running for a Darwin.

But remember.. Friends don't let friends Drive drunk... and chivalry isn't dead, but being chivalrous can sometimes get you a Darwin.

Just ask Louis.

Submitted on 07/23/2007

Submitted by: Paul Bender
Reference: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19904873/

>> Moderator Scores <<

Bruce said:
Definitely Keep: Darwin Award
Louis definitely should have known it was time to give up when the car started moving. Nice writeup, Paul!

Chip said:
Maybe Toss: Bystanders Hurt
Louis was trying to do the right thing for a friend, which cost him his life. I don't think the circumstances story is at all humorous although you have provided a heck of a write up, Paul. In my opinion, Louis was a bystander in this sad story, but I will let the other moderators decide on this one. Thanks for the story, Paul.

James said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
Misapplied chivalry or no, Louis was a bystander in all this. Nice write-up, though! Thanks, Paul!

Graham said:
Definitely Toss: Lacks Excellence
Hoo boy - alcohol claims another victim. In this case, the guy should just have let her go - but then again, she may have well killed OTHER innocents as drunks so often do. It's a tough one.

Darwin said:
Definitely Toss: Not Amusing
Dear Paul, you are such an awesome writer, you have really made this story as amusing as it possibly could be! Butchaknow, Louis was trying to save someone's life, and I just can't agree with you that what he did was clearly destined to kill him... Plus he was being heroic in saving others, as Graham points out... so I will take a pass on this. But I can see why you submitted it, Paul, and I commend you on your talend for humor! REgards, Wendy

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2007 Slush Pile

Chivalry can get you a Darwin!

2007 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance