Slush Pile: Next time, bring a motor!

2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Next time, bring a motor!

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

-----Pre-Writeup-----

Another old reject abandoned. Posted by another anonymous poster at this post:

http://darwinawards.com/reject/new/pending20070706-115543.html

-----Writeup-----

Driving Go-Karts for most people is an exhilarating experience; driving around corners at high speed, speeding around specially made tracks, and taking corners at absurd speed. It is a lot of fun for most, and these feelings were true for two teenagers.

Two teenagers had a dilemma, however. They had a Go-Kart of their own. However, the Go-Kart had no motor, and thus was unable to propel itself.

They decided in the end, however, that in order to propel it, that they would attach a mini-bike to the Go-Kart, and that the older teenager would drive the mini-bike, while the younger one drove the Go-Kart.

Then they reached a second dilemma; they couldn't take it anywhere. So, they decided not only to take the duo onto public roads, but onto PRIMARY roads.

The inevitable occured when they reached a major intersection, with a red light. The older teenager, in a sudden lapse of judgment, decided to run the red light. In the younger teenager's laspe of judgement, he decided to follow through without trying to stop or bailing out. In the end, the joyride came to a crashing end, when a schoolbus plowed into the Go-Kart, killing the racing hopeful.

It's cases like these that are why traffic laws exist.

-----Eligibility-----

Reproduction

Young enough to be almost guaranteed to not have reproduced. And, being in a Go-Kart, then being hit by a bus, that's definitely out of the gene pool. Check!

Excellence

Although the person who was pulling the Go-Kart was the one who pulled him through the red light, it was the Go-Karter who could have bailed out, his its brakes, disconnected the link, or have done a million other things to stop. I'm going to assume that when they said Go-Kart, they mean an actual Go-Kart with a dead or missing motor, which means it would have brakes (and effective ones at that). He could have also decided not to get into the Go-Kart in the first place! And, doing what they did was extremely illegal on public roads anyways, and that was definitely accountable for. Check.

Self-Selection

Iffy here. It was his decision to ride it, and his decision to continue through the red light. It was, however, not his decision to make the initial run through, who was the cousin. No one else was hurt though, so self-selection? I give it an iffy check, but since they both knowingly broke traffic laws by using a busted Go-Kart towed by a minibike, I say yes. And what if it was the Go-Karter's idea?

Maturity

Iffy here as well. He was fifteen, which is under the age limit of sixteen. However, I know from some personal experience that fifteen year olds ARE capable of sound judgment. As well, other fifteen year olds have gotten Darwin Awards themselves.

Veracity

I don't know this source well, but I'm going to say check. I'll leave it to moderators to see if this source is valid, and not Fox News. :P

So in tally, three checks, two iffy checks. I'll leave them up to you.

-----Reference-----

Family Members Want Charges Dropped Against Cousin Created: 7/5/2007 5:05:29 PM Last updated: 7/5/2007 6:58:16 PM

Click to watch Sharon Stevens' report.

By Sharon Stevens

(KSDK) - Some relatives of a boy killed in a go-cart related accident said Thursday they want the charges dropped against his older cousin.

Thamaris Higgins, 18, is charged with manslaughter in the death of Demarion Patterson, 15, in north St. Louis.

The accident happened May 6 at the intersection of Union and St. Louis Avenues.

Police said Higgins was riding a mini-bike that was attached by a rope to a go-cart.

Patterson was in the go-cart when police said the eastbound mini-bike ran a red light and was hit by a northbound school bus. The bus driver was not charged.

Patterson was pronounced dead at St. Louis Children's Hospital.

Last week, Higgins was charged with manslaughter.

On Thursday, he appeared in circuit court for a bond reduction hearing. Following the hearing, he ran from the Mel Carnahan Courthouse in downtown St. Louis.

Higgins' bond was reduced from $50,000 to $20,000. He remains in police custody.

Patterson was a student at Kirby Middle School in the Hazelwood School District.

Submitted on 07/10/2007

Submitted by: James
Reference: http://www.ksdk.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=123546

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks, James, but the reason this was zapped is because of the maturity rule violation. Only Darwin can overrule this, and this happens only in the rarest of circumstances. Unfortunately, this one isn't worthy of an exception, but we welcome the submission just the same!

Chip said:
Definitely Toss: Other
I agree with James on the maturity rule but we do appreciate the story

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

Home Rules FAQs Awards Slush Site Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend

2007 Slush Pile

Next time, bring a motor!

2007 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance