Slush Pile: Snorkeler mistaken for rodent

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2007 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Snorkeler mistaken for rodent

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

The guy was mistaken for a rodent, got shot on his head but did not die. The stupid thing was do dive in a place full of rodents, and looking for different species of fish. He did not find any. Scott Adams, the Dilbert writer, honored this guy with a blog text:

"I opened my web browser today and noticed a story about a man in Oregon who was snorkeling in a river and got shot in the head because some other guy thought he was a rodent. There is nothing funny about being shot in the head. Unless you were snorkeling in a river and someone thought you were a rodent. Fortunately, the snorkeler is recovering well. Apparently the bullet hit the densest part of his skull and shattered.

To reiterate, there is nothing funny about being shot in the head. Unless you were snorkeling in a river, someone thought you were a rodent, and your skull is so dense it can stop a bullet. The shooter mistook the snorkeler for a nutria. That’s a rat-looking thing that swims. Apparently the river has a lot of swimming rodents in it. I don’t think I have to tell you that the very best place you can snorkel is a river that’s full of swimming rats. It is good scenery and good friends all in one. The snorkeler said he was in the river looking for different species of fish. There was no mention in the story about whether he saw any, thus making the entire thing worthwhile.

I admire the snorkeler’s sense of adventure, and apparent lack of plane fare. I wish I had the kind of spirit where I could wake up in the morning, turn to my wife and say, “Honey, I can’t spend time with you and the kids today. I’m going to go snorkel in a rodent-infested river and look for fish the hard way.” I would hate to be on snorkeler’s end of the “told you’s” today: I told you not to snorkel in the river. I told you that nutria aren’t a new species of fish. I told you to wax your back so you don’t look so much like a giant rodent. The man who did the shooting got arrested for being a felon in possession of methamphetamines and marijuana. (This is just a guess, but I think the police missed a drug or two.) I know you’re probably thinking the same thing that I’m thinking: If I were a felon in possession of illegal drugs, I’d be shooting a rifle into a river too. It’s hard to imagine that plan somehow going wrong. I can’t decide if the snorkeler was unlucky because he got shot, or lucky because the bullet hit the densest part of his skull. I’m an optimist, so I see his skull as half dense. You might be a pessimist and see the river as a shooting range that’s full of rats plus one guy who seriously needs a new hobby. You are entitled to your opinion." http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/ (since it is a blog, it won't be on internet after some weeks)

The original news are below:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/10/snorkeler.shot.ap/index.html

EUGENE, Oregon (AP) -- A snorkeler who was shot in the face after he was apparently mistaken for a swimming rodent was in good condition after surgery, a hospital said Saturday.

John William Cheesman, 44, of Springfield, underwent eight hours of surgery Thursday to remove bullet and bone fragments from his face, said his wife, Shelley Cheesman.

"He's doing really well," Shelley Cheesman said. "The bullet hit in front of his right ear, where the bone is the most dense. It just fragmented and didn't go into his brain."

He was listed in good condition at Oregon Health & Science University Hospital in Portland.

William Roderick, 60, of Reedsport, has been charged with assault, being a felon in possession of a firearm, and possession of methamphetamine and marijuana. He was being held in the county jail.

Roderick told deputies he thought Cheesman was a nutria swimming in the Smith River near Reedsport, about 90 miles southwest of Eugene, and shot him with a .22-caliber rifle, police said.

A nutria is a water-dwelling South American rodent species that is larger than a muskrat but smaller than a beaver. It was introduced to U.S. waters in the 1940s, according the National Wildlife Federation.

Cheesman, an avid diver, was in the river looking at different species of fish, his wife said. He swam to the river bank and yelled for help.

Roderick and another man came to Cheesman's aid in a boat, called 911 and drove him to an ambulance.

"I do give him credit for helping him," Shelley Cheesman said of Roderick.

Submitted on 02/14/2007

Submitted by: Cristiano
Reference: CNN 10-feb-2007

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Maybe Toss: No Self-Selection
I'm not feeling the stupidity here. Obviously, the fact that this snorkler was shot by someone known to use drugs proves a lack of self-selection. Were it not for the shooter, the victim might have had a fine day of snorkeling. I admire your efforts in proving the worthiness of this, but much of it (ie the plane fare part and why the victim was there in the first place) is conjecture. I'll have to vote to toss this!

Graham said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Thanks for submitting this story. However, we already have this one in the Slush Pile and there is not really any NEW or additional information here. We do however appreciate your efforts

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2007 Slush Pile

Snorkeler mistaken for rodent

2007 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

>> The Darwin Awards, by Wendy Northcutt << Link to Fight Evil.

2007 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

>> The Darwin Awards, by Wendy Northcutt <<
Link to Fight Evil.