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2006 August Rejects
Walking on Water
Evangelist drowns trying to wa
stealing "hot" wire
Man Burned in Prince George Su
Against Faith
Miracle is sunk
Man dies in try to jump canal
Still not enough faith
Deputies: Man Dies Trying To C
Power Pole Smash
Deputies: Man Dies Trying To C
Failing to Walk on Water
Evel Knievel He's Not
Power Pole Lumberjack
man gives children 40mm shell
Kids Get Bomb for Present
Why take everybody with you?
Miracle Is Sunk
Going Out With a Bang
Watch Where You're Going!
Naples man killed trying to ju
Mop plunge
How not to ride an ATV.
One tough tree
Naples man killed trying to ju
Killed By A Higher Power Pole
Naples man killed trying to ju
Just cause Jesus did it...
Man kills self driving ATV
Deputies: Man Dies Trying To C
Flick of A Lighter
A flicker of a lighter kills..
Light Sabre Battle
A Flick of a Lighter...
Bad Idea of The Week
Gas Pipeline Looter w/Zippo
Lighter + Gasoline in Iraq
Train Kills Man on Mower
A very short crime spree
Suicide by mercury and Draino
Petting the police dog
Walkies!
No, No, Bud Light
Dogs make bad drivers
Teaching dog to drive
Kidnap Attempt Thwarted
Woman teaches dog to drive
Not your ordinary car wreck
lady dies / pooch driving
Jumping a train @ 40 mph
Woman Crashes Teaches Dog to D
Student killed by train
Under the Bridge
Man dies jumping from bridge
Funeral deaths
Criticker: the new crack.
Man Gets out of a Car
Converting lions to Jesus
TEL Thomas
Kenosha Man Killed in Accident
Get a REAL helmet
Cheerleader gets shot in dare
Darwin Darwined
Digging all the way
egyptian shoe horn escapees
Man electrocuted while stealin
Asshole Launchpad
death by woodchipper
Junk in the Trunk
Man Killed by Wood Chipper
Man Using Wood Chipper Killed
drowning due fire
Electrocution in Baptism
Polish Lumberjack
Nitrogen, wine, & Tongues
Robber shoots himself
Don't Fence Me In
Anchors Aweigh
Cheapskate Sliced and Diced
Its Moving Day,..,..
Buming a rocket
Woman Mauled bathing dog
Jet Luge
bad guy and k9 sump
Not Like Father Like Son
Dearth by Cleaning
Man dies opening grenade with
Burglar kills self
Knight killed by a lightning
Hammer Blow
Bird rescue kills 5
forget about thr past and you
Killed after an accident
Glock trumps Daisy
Kenosha Man Killed In Wood Chi
ive done it a hundred ttimes
Man Climbs Out of Truck Window
Bad Guy and K9 Jump
That didn't hurt -- for long.
Man Dies after Climbing Out
Man dies after being pulled in
Manwich
Man dies in wood chipper
Truck Window Platform
'Strange' pickup accident
Wood Chipper Death
Home Invader Shoots Self
The recent expliosives plot
Fickle wind killed man wearing
5 die trying to save pigeon
5 die trying to save pigeon
Is this the button to Push?
Woodchipper death
What not to do with fireworks
Brazil Indiana man dies when p
Death By Wood Chipper
Man killed in wood chipper
Kenosha Man Dies in Wood Chipp
A Chip Off the Old Stump
Kenosha man killed in wood chi
How not to open a grenade...
Wood Chipper Death
Wood Chipper
Wood Chipper
Man Killed in a Wood Chipper
wood-chipper accident
Knock Knock KABOOM
Man VS Machine
man ides by wood chipper
Brazilian man dies opening roc
Man killed in wood chipper acc
Wood Chipper Accident
Man Dies in Wood Chipper Accid
Man dies after being pulled in
Killed by luck
Wood Chipper Claims Another
Death by wood chipper
Man Killed By Wood Chipper
A Chip Off the Old Block
Potion gone wrong
Man who cut into power line di
Man killed in wood chipper acc
Man dies after being pulled in
Dies trying to open a grenade
Man killed in wood chipper acc
Man’s Face Burned In Fireworks
Fell Off the hood of a car
Smashing grenades
From bad luck to Darwin Award
"Is that all you got"
Man killed in wood chipper acc
Man vs Woodchipper
Wood Chipper
tunnels in sand
Chipper chap
Man Tapes Firework to Head, th
Touch Wood
Feelin a bit chipper
How not to open a grenade
Town finally got Darwin award
Man’s Face Burned In Fireworks
Train track nap
grenade vs. sledgehammer
Wake up Casey Jones
Smashing a garnet
Man hit in head by train
Slow Learner
Burn Thyme
'Sex game' kills teenager
How not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade
Final Resting Place
Burgler Bleeds to death while
Burgler Bleeds to death while
How not to open a grenade
Man Dies Taking Sledgehammer t
let the grenade be
How Not To Open A Grenade
Sledgehammer to Grenade
Opening RPGs with a hammer
How not to open a grenade!
RPG + Sledhammer = Darwinism
Bombs Do Occasionally Explode
Mans swing ends with a bang
It's Hammer Time!
Let the Grenade Lie
5 die trying to save pigeon
Moto-Surf Deaths
Tink, Tink, Tink, BOOM
Chav Roundabout Ride
Brazilian dies opening RPG
Brazilian man dies opening roc
Live by the Car, Die by the Ca
Better idea: Just leave the gr
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade
Better idea: Just leave the gr
Car Dodging At-Risk Survivor
Car Dodging At-Risk Survivor
Cracking open a live grenade
Turtle Dive
How not to open a Grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
Five dead, one pigeon
How not to open a granade
Fan killed in mosh pit.
The Deadliest Pinata
Five die trying to save pigeon
...All Over A Pigeon
Grenade Kill at a Car Garage
Man Sledgehammers Grenade, Die
How NOT to Open a Grenade
man cuts off own penis
man opens grenade with hammer
Grenades and Hammers Don't Mix
How not to open a grenade
Having a Blast at Work
Man Successfully Opens Grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
Here's how not to open a grena
Ready For Your Close-Up?
How Not To Open A Grenade
hammer time
Five die trying to save pigeon
A new respect for explosives.
Opening a grenade
I really like rpg's
Swing low, Swing Blow
How not to open a grenade...
RPG Mistake
Man Breaks into WVC home; Blee
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a Grenade
Car Thieves Are Killed Running
Man dies opening grenade with
Man dies opening grenade with
man hits grenade with hammer
Sledgehammer vs RPG
How Not To Open A Grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade
Sleghammering Brazilian
Trouble in Paradise?
Man dies opening grenade with
Flaming Banana Suit
How Not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade.
How not to open a grenade...
Sledgehammer and Grande's Dont
How not to open a grenade...
Grenade Snafu!
Hammer on RPG
RPG and a Sledge Hammer
How not to open a grenade...
Brazilian man dies opening roc
How not to open a grenade
Getting Hammered
What's with opening grenades?
How not to open a grenade
How Not to Open a Grenade
Lawyer's Justice
Woman jumps from truck
Out with a bang!
"How not to open a grenade"
How not to open a grenade...
Glass Attention-getting
How not to open a grenade...
Man dies using sledgehammer
A Sledgehammer?
How not to disarma grenade
Grenade 1, Man+Sledgehammer 0
Hammer time!
How not to Open a Hand Grenade
Boom. Headshot.
Tap. Tap. KABOOM.
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
Sledgehammer plus grenade
How not to open a grenade...
how not to open a Grenade.
Slegehammer to Grenade...
How not to open a grenade
pipe bomb kills fisherman
Grenade 1:Man 0
How not to open a grenade..
man dies using sledgehammer on
How not to open a grenade...
Tippecanoe off the Canoe
How not to open a grenade..
Sledgehammer and grenade
Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em
man + grenade + sledgehammer
man + grenade + sledgehammer
How not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade...
A good window A bad night
Man dies using sledgehammer on
How not to open a grenade...
Opening Grenade with Hammer
How not to open a grenade
RPG Hammer
Brazillian dies hammering RPG
2 brothers
Grenades and sledgehammers
How NOT to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade...
Grenades and Hammers
Thief Breaks Glass
Man Dies Taking Sledgehammer t
Man dies using sledgehammer on
How Not to Open a Grenade
How not to open a grenade
Grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade
Grenade and the sledgehammer
Hard Hitter
Blowing ones self away....
HOW NOT TO OPEN A HAND GRENADE
intruder bleeds to death
How not to open a grenade...
Man dies opening a grenade
Burglar Breaking Through Windo
How not to open a grenade...
New Fangled Grenade Opener
It's not Hammer time.
How not to open a Grenade
How not to open a grenade...
Parachutist gets tangled
Man Dies Taking Sledgehammer t
How not to open a grenade
Grenade and Sledgehammer
How not to open a grenade
How Not to Open a Grenade
Invader bleeds to death
Invader bleeds to death
If You MUST Open A Grenade...
Man Dies Taking Sledgehammer t
How Not to Open a Grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
How to open a Grenade
Man Opens Grenade, Not Piñata
Man Dies Taking Sledgehammer t
Grenade and Sledgehammer
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade
Sledgehammer vs grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
Man dies opening grenade with
Man dies opening grenade with
Man dies opening grenade with
rocket propelled grenade
Sledgehammer vs Grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
Man dies opening grenade with
She must've ditched Drivers Ed
How NOT to Dispose of a Grenad
How not to open a grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
DIY: How to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade...
Opening a grenade
Dumb has a new definition
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
Man Opens Grenade with Hammer!
openning grenade with sledgeha
How not to open a grenade
Grenades for Fun & Profit
How not to open a grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
RPC+Sledgehammer=idiot
How not to open a grenade...
Man Dies Opening Grenade
How not to open a grenade
Man Sledgehammers Grenade, Die
How not to open a grenade...
Man dies trying to open a hand
How not to open a grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How Not to Open a Grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
How not to open a grenade
How not to disarm a grenade
How not to open a grenade...
How not to open a grenade...
open grenade with sledgehammer
How not to open a grenade
open grenade with sledgehammer
open grenade with sledgehammer
Man dies opening grenade with
How not to open a grenade
Instant Darwin!!
Man dies opening grenade with
Sledgehammer and a Grenade
The Sledgehammer & Grenade
Thud thud thud BANG!
Man tries to open a grenade
Using a hammer on a Grenade!?
Grenade + Sledgehammer = uh-oh
Out With A Bang
Brazilian Nerd
A man, a grenade, and a hammer
Man dies opening grenade with
Grenades & Sledgehammers
How not to open a grenade
2 people riding on roof die in
Man dies using sledgehammer on
Man dies opening grenade with
Sledgehammer on RPG
Opened Grenade w/ Hammer
Man sledgehammers grenade
Man dies opening grenade with
Brazilian Wax
Man dies using sledgehammer on
Man dies using sledgehammer on
Two brothers were killed in
Catch me if you can
Jackman man killed in workshop
Don't Try this at home
Bring a knife to a gun fight
Plea Bargain?
Pipe bomb fishing
Runover by Dad
cut penis
Man dies after fall from bridg
Brothers die in separate crash
Homemade pipe bomb kills Brazi
Pipe Bomb Fisherman
Pipe bomb kills Fisherman
Going Fishin'
A Bit More Info
Explosion harms Augusta man.
Mainiac
Dog destroys Elvis' teddy bear
Man Hanging Out of Car Is Kill
Hey, watch this!
car thief sets himself on fire
SHOT DRIVER DIES AFTER SMASH
Teen killed in jump from tract
Lost gunfight w/ sleeping man
Porcupine Poking
BANG! And the house is gone!
Dead Driver Shot
Died With His Boots On
Died With His Boots On
Man uses petrol as cleaner
What a Fuel!
Man Report's stolen Marijuana
Man drops off to sleep
Waitress Gets Own ID When Card
Cliff Death
Tractor
Man uses petrol as cleaner
Bargain-Basement Liposuction
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2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

That didn't hurt -- for long.

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

http://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/2006/08/that-didnt-hurt-for-long.html

Another gem from LawDog.

Friday, August 18, 2006 That didn't hurt -- for long.

One of our long-term critters -- part-time dope dealer, occasional thug and full-time poster child for retroactive abortions -- has now become an object lesson.

Apparently, Mr. Critter developed a decidedly one-sided romantic fixation upon the teacher of one of his legion of off-spring. The object of his affections, not appreciating what a singular honour becoming Critter's Baby's Mama # 134 would be, nor desiring such, turned him down.

Mr. Critter seems to have missed the subtle hint contained in the phrase, "Stay the hell away from me!", because early on the morning in question Mr. Critter decided to pay a visit to the home of said Object Of His Affections.

Finding no one home after repeatedly hammering on the door and screaming, Mr. Critter departed the premises, only to return shortly.

As he began to resume his obnoxious activities, the neighbor of the schoolteacher, a middle-aged gentleman whose wife occasionally babysits the infant daughter of the schoolteacher, walked next door to inform Mr. Critter that the schoolteacher was out of town on vacation and to kindly desist from raising Cain on her front porch.

Mr. Critter promptly whipped a large silver-coloured revolver from his waistband, struck the man across the face with the barrel, knocking the neighbor back and down to one knee. Mr. Critter then proceeded to advance on the neighbor, pointing the gun at him him and loudly screaming: "You want a piece of me, mother****er?! Huh?! You want a piece of me?! I'll **** you up, you ho-ass mother****er! You want a piece of me?!"

Down on one knee and unable to retreat, the CHL-equipped neighbor skinned his Glock 23 and neatly whomped two .40-calibre slugs through Mr. Critter's brisket. (The detective taking the statement said, "I guess that'd be a 'Yes...'")

Mr. Critter had the good manners to drop the unloaded Daisy BB pistol with which he had armed himself and expired.

The officers handed the neighbor a receipt for his Glock and told him to come down to the station and pick it up when the Grand Jury was done.

I love Texas.

Ladies and gentlemen, while the first rule of gunfights is to have a gun, there are two corollaries to that rule:

a) It should be loaded; and

b) BB guns don't count.

LawDog

Submitted on 08/19/2006

Submitted by: Mikael Hallin
Reference: Lawdog, 18/9 - 06

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

Great? 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Awful?
Love it! Hate it!
>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Keep: Personal Account
Thanks, Mikael! This sort of thing generally doesn't qualify for a DA on the grounds of being too common and because of a lack of self-selection (the victim was shot by another), but because Law Dog is such an irresistable raconteur, I will use the "for Darwin's Eyes" loophole and see if it passes muster. The dramatic demise of a dope of a low-life as told by Law Dog raises the bar on such incidents and should be shared with the readers for their humorous content, if nothing else!


Sheryl said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
Thanks, Mikael, I'm glad I don't live in Texas! :} While it's a fairly ordinary story, it's the telling that makes the magic. I'm on the "keep" side of Neutral and I think Darwin needs to see this.


Fitzroy said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
I'll assist with the pass-along, since I'm guessing James just missed that button on the comment form. Personally though, I do lean toward "too common" because the numbers on defensive use of firearms in this nation are huge (if largely unpublicized.) Still, the telling of the tale is such that I figure Darwin will get a smile out of it whether or not it also becomes material for future development.


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