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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Penis Anyone?

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

you might reconize my sisters story "hair dryers dont stop cars" If anyone here is a fan of the show Greys

Anantomy, they might be aware that the medical wonders they come up with on the show are actually real. Well to my surprise one of the most talked about shows of the season had happened around my town.

If you want to commit a crime worse than rape, you'd probably have to kill someone. Durring a rape, a man decided that he didn't want normal intercorse, oh no! He decided that a blow job would be much more satisfying. He forced the girls head to his penis. What he didn't realize was that this girl was a quick thinker. She bit his penis clean off and swallowed it. Mmm, mmm sounds tasty. He just qualified himself for a Darwin since he is now to this day completely steril. It got worse from there.

The girl was rushed to the hospitol because of the trama from the rape. Durring surgurey they found what was causing so much trama, there was an unidentified object in her stomach. They soon found out it was a penis. This became police evidence and by law the person who found it was in custity of it until the police picked it up. I'm sure that this doctor enjoyed carying a penis around in a cooler.

A man later came into that same hospitol with his pants covered in blood. The same doctor who was carying around the severed penis in the cooler was assigned to his case. The doctor with possession of the penis tryed to sew it back on, but couldn't, no matter how long it took. Police locked him up in prison for only 15 years because of the "loss" this man had suffered.

Police did something a little dim too. They neglected to pick up the mans penis to bring to the station at that time. They said they would come back the next day to get it. This poor doctor had to cary it around still. He ended up putting it in the fridge in the lounge. He figured that no one would open it. Well what he didn't know was that someone had the same cooler and after working 48 hours, they forgot that they didn't bring it that day. Another doctor ended up opening the cooler and eating the severed penis, not checking to see if it was theirs or not. The doctor was so exausted that they didn't realize was they were eating. Surgeons were surprised to say the least to have to remove the same penis from someone elses stomach again!

Submitted on 07/07/2006

Submitted by: Kelli Klees
Reference: ABC, July 2006

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Actually, Kelli, I do recall your sister's story (which I liked). As for your story, I have heard of a similar incident, but the part about the tired doctor helping himself to a hot dog sounds a BIT apocryphal! If you can find a news article or other documentation to verify this (both the attempted rape and the hospital episode), I will certainly consider it as it meets our criteria for a DA, but right now there just isn't any way to prove it happened as you say it did. Thanks for submitting!


Jorge said:
Maybe Toss: Other


Fitzroy said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Certain elements sound suspect to me, in particular a trained physician handling an abandoned body part like that. It is an amusing tale, but I would be reluctant to endorse it without some solid media support.


Jack said:
Maybe Toss: Other
Can we have a verifiable reference please?


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