Slush Pile: The Lobster Story

2006 Slush Pile

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The Lobster Story

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

is this even possiable?

The Lobster Story

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed,

she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar

to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina

erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has

ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few

minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a

burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the

sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming

wildly, and the neighbors called the police. When medics

arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the

floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe.

Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup.

The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed

her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to

straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up.

When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out,

he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger

than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her

genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping

sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that

was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of

mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on

the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself

back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet

as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face

down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific

that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without

convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with

baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a

furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until

you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci's death was the result of a combination

of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over

the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had

done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her

head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by police that two nights before

the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a

fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted

the creature's tail into her vagina to derive physical

pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the

creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a

violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian XXX

video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table

in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the

kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces

of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along

with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between

the lobsters' tail joints. The lobster's face was

lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters.

The lobster's digestive track and colon were found

to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe

that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in

the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly

boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out

into Ms.DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it.

Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and

Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her

period. Doctors believe that at that point of her

menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance

to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger

version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold

throughout the US. Overnight the eggs had hatched

and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten

minutes!!! You can imagine the pain she was in when

she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over

1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

Submitted on 06/10/2006

Submitted by: dan ruring
Reference: unknown

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Toss: For Darwin's Eyes
Darwin, you might want to delete this outright!

Jorge said:
Definitely Toss: For Darwin's Eyes
Totally agree

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Slush Pile
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2006 Slush Pile

The Lobster Story

2006 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

>> The Darwin Awards, by Wendy Northcutt << Link to Fight Evil.

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

>> The Darwin Awards, by Wendy Northcutt <<
Link to Fight Evil.