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Darwin Awards
2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Jap Lane

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

This is a is the story of an erasure of an entire culture by stupid people.

Submitted for your approval is the Japanese-American League, for their misguided and successful campaign to have the roads in two southeast Texas counties changed from "Jap Lane" and "Jap Road" to something else. Their campaign resulted in the roads being changed to a variety of names in 2005, including "Boondocks Road", Cajun Way", and "Duncan Woods Lane". Only one tiny bit of a road was changed to "Japanese Lane". Thus, a reminder of their own Japanese heritage was erased.

The two roads were originally named to honor several Japanese families who emigrated to Southeast Texas around 1900 and introduced 'intelligent rice farming' to the area, which grew into a highly profitable business that is still a major industry today. Longtime residents spoke fondly of the Japanese farmers and were proud that roads were named to honor them.

Thanks to the Japanese-American League, that honor is gone. They declared the century-old road names 'offensive' and demanded they be changed. 90% of the residents of Jap Lane and Jap Road were against the name change. But through the threat of expensive lawsuits, the JAL forced the two counties to change the road names. None of the JAL members live on those roads, and never travel on the roads. Yet they persisted until the names that honor their ancestors were erased from road signs, mailboxes, maps, and soon the residents' memories.

For this, the Japanese-American League should be awarded a 2006 Darwin Award, with the further decoration of the 'Shot Ourselves In Both Feet' cluster.

We sincerely hope the JAL is forced to change its name to the National Association for the Advancement of Japanese People, or NAAJP.

The residents of Southeast Texas have the last word in this matter. As one resident said, " You won't find any official proclamation anywheres, but we grin real big whenever we see a pile of horse or cow droppings, bird splatter, or even some dog poo. We figure that ain't just fertilizer, that's a deposit in the Japanese-American Brain Trust, 'cause that's what they must have for brains, to get rid of their heritage like that."

Submitted on 05/27/2006

Submitted by: Hank Van Slyke
Reference: Beaumont Enterprise, 5/26/06

Copyright © 2006 DarwinAwards.com

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Toss: Other
A quirky article, to say the least, but there is NOTHING here that even remotely belongs on this site! Thanks for taking the time to submit, Hank, but do please re-read our submission guidelines! :-)


Greg said:
Definitely Toss: Other
Agreed.


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