Slush Pile: Hang Up and Drive!

2006 Slush Pile

This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

Hang Up and Drive!

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

Today's news is telling the tragic tale of a young mother and her son who died after sliding off a slippery country road in Bradford on Saturday. Articles are blaming the weather and the government red tape that has so far prevented the town from redirecting the canal away from the road, as 11 people have died the same way in that past decade.

The articles have varying discrepancies, including the age of the woman (32 or 33) and the type of SUV she was driving. Most say she called 911 from the car. However, the front page article covering all of pages 2 and 3 of today's Toronto Sun say she was talking on her cell phone with her best friend when she slid into the creek. The article includes quotes from the friend and the woman's father.

Given this information, I can really only feel sorry for the 4-year-old boy that drowned with his mother. According to the article, Cassandra Read was driving home to Keswick from Kitchener and talking on her cell phone to her best friend when the accident happened. The conversation was about where she should stop to get coffee on her way home.

Now, Canal Road is not the correct exit to take to get to Keswick, not by any stretch of the imagination. There is a lake between the two towns, and the only way to get to Keswick from there would have been to backtrack to get around the lake. I'm guessing that the way she ended up on Canal Road was that she missed the previous exit while yakking on the phone and had to get off at Bradford. Or, perhaps, she missed the exit without talking on the phone, but had called her friend for directions or something once she left the highway.

Being a country road, it doesn't get ploughed. The driving conditions were terrible that day, and it would have been logical to pull over to the side of the road to place the phone call. On top of that, only inches from the edge of the road is the canal itself, a large ditch full of murky water that is part of the Holland River. Even to someone who had never driven the road before, it should have been obvious that it's dangerous. I have driven it many times before when I worked and dated in that area, and have always been nervous about it. So this woman is driving along a slippery country road, on the edge of a canal, at dusk, with her child in the back seat, and she still decides to talk on the phone to her friend about where to find the nearest Tim's. If this is true, I'd say she qualifies for a Darwin Award.

According to the article, she was still talking to her friend when her SUV went into the water. She was screaming for help, saying she was drowning, and then her phone went dead. The friend called 911, and while she was on the phone Cassandra called her friend again and left a message on her answering machine, screaming for help. By the time help arrived, the car was completely submerged and it took 20 minutes for the rescue team to locate the vehicle. Both mother and son were pronounced dead on arrival at hospital.

What baffles me is that nobody has yet said, "Cassandra should have hung up and focused on driving." God forbid somebody might draw attention to her poor judgement and use it as a lesson to others. Nope, never blame the dead for causing their own deaths. It might prevent more stupid people from killing themselves in a similar fashion.

Submitted on 02/06/2006

Submitted by: Alison G.
Reference: Toronto Sun, February 6, 2006

>> Moderator Scores <<

James said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
As much as I like hearing about people getting their comeuppance while simultaneously driving and yakking away on their cel phones, there was an innocent 4 year old who was killed. That INSTANTLY disqualifies this submission. Just the same, Allison, we appreciate it, and had it not been for the kid I might have considered this one!

Jorge said:
Neutral: For Darwin's Eyes
She erased her genes from the gene pool by killing here son but she hurt A bystander so I don't know if it should be tossed.

Jack said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
Because of her stupidity, she also managed to keep her 4 year old child's genes out of the gene pool! Sorry, but Darwin doesn't like it when a young child is removed from the gene pool before he or she has a chance to show potential.

Greg said:
Definitely Toss: Bystanders Hurt
I'm sorry Jorge, but I have no such dilemma. I'm with James. 4 year old killed = instant dismissal under Bystanders Hurt AND Not Amusing, in my humble opinion. Sorry.

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

Slush Pile
Slush Pile Rejects

2006 Slush Pile

Hang Up and Drive!

2006 Reader Submission Pending Acceptance

>> The Darwin Awards, by Wendy Northcutt << Link to Fight Evil.

2006 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance

>> The Darwin Awards, by Wendy Northcutt <<
Link to Fight Evil.