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Darwin Awards
2005 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

 
 
The Bigger the Better
2005 Personal Account

(September 2003, Florida) A young man came into the emergency room in Tampa complaining of scrotal pain. The triage nurse sent him to a waiting area, where his girlfriend held his hand lovingly and tried to comfort him. Two hours later he was called into an examination room. He insisted that his girlfriend wait outside. The male nurse who examined him saw that his scrotum had swollen to the size of a basketball, hanging down to his mid-thigh.

The nurse asked the young man how this had happened. After much hesitation, he finally confided that he attempted to make his scrotum appear larger to impress his girlfriend, who had remarked that he did not have "big balls" like her last boyfriend. He bought a kit online, and injected 500 cc of normal saline into his scrotum with an IV needle.

This self-improvement effort had caused a severe case of cellulitis, which required large doses of IV antibiotics and a three-day hospital stay. The doctor told him that the swelling had put tremendous pressure on his testes, and he might be sterile because of it.

He tried to hide his affliction from his girlfriend as he was moved upstairs to his room. The male nurse wasn't sure whether the young man had managed to impress her, but he had certainly proved to the ER staff that he had big balls.

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