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Darwin Awards
2005 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

 
 
Stupid Car
2005 Personal Account

(Summer 2003, Oregon) There was no media coverage on this one. I was a witness and rescuer. Around 7AM, I looked up from the machine I was operating at work, and saw an older Nissan at the stop sign across the street. Its emergency flashers were on. A heavyset young woman emerged, opened the hood, and leaned in to manipulate something inside. Suddenly the car lurched forward, knocking her down.

I immediately ran for the door. By the time I started across the parking lot, the bumper of the car was slowly shoving her out into the four-lane boulevard! The situation reminded me of the Steven King story where the car starts trying to kill people. If she had been thinner, the car would have rolled over her, making her a true Darwin nominee. Unsuccessful at crushing her, the woman's car was pushing her into the boulevard's right lane, where other cars could finish the job.

After checking for traffic, I ran across the street to help. Very fortunately for her, the driver of the next vehicle to approach her (a school bus) was quick-witted enough to turn on the flashing red lights, stopping traffic.

As I sprinted to the driver's door, I remember feeling a flash of irritation as the woman gasped to me, "Put it in reverse." Did she think I was going to try to lift it off her? I hopped in and carefully reversed the car. She stood up, brushed herself off, and said, "Stupid car. The transmission linkage is always sticking."

Dumbfounded, all I could think of to say was, "Maybe you should set the parking brake next time." I consciously didn't say, "The car is stupid?"

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: John Hancock
Reference: Eyewitness Account

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