The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2001 Personals
Miracle Mile
Medical Misadventures
Wasps
Tube Snake
Parachute Catch
Horsing Around
Monkey Business
Regular & Extra Crispy
Fleas of Fire
Real Science
Flat Fix Fizzles
Got a Match?
Uncle Rick's End
Power Over Plate Glass
Accident Prone
Firebug
Workin' on the Railroad
Theoretical Knowledge
Bepples
Power!
XYZ
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2001 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. Next Prev Random

 
 
Flat Fix Fizzles
2001 Personal Account

(14 Febrary 2001, Australia) Just when I thought you yanks had cornered the market in stoopid, this little gem occured virtually in my own backyard. After spending a considerable time in our village pub, a couple of tourists headed back to their accomodations several kilometers from the town.

Along the way, their car got a flat tyre. No problemo! He gets out, jacks up the offending wheel, removes the wheel nuts... and the car falls off the jack. Not wishing to go to all the bother of jacking it up again, this cheery couple decides to proceed on the flat. Only they don't get very far because, as I mentioned, the wheel nuts have been taken off and the wheel falls off the car.

When you are faced with a missing wheel in the gathering darkness in a fairly remote area, there are not a lot of options open to you. This clever chappy, however, exercised an option that would not have occurred to the rest of us. He grabs a .22 rifle, sticks it under his chin, hollers "I've had enough of this!" and pulls the trigger. The hollow-point bullet travels up through his mouth, doing awful things to his tongue along the way, and lodges somewhere behind his nose. Fortunately (?) another car happens by shortly after the event, and the 'victim' is transported back to the pub where we started this tale. First aid is given, an ambulance arrives and our hero is whisked off to the nearest hospital thirty kilometers away.

Now here is the kicker. When the medicos get to work to remove the slug and repair chummy's head they find a second projectile, one that has been in place for a considerable length of time. This second bullet had been fired from an air rifle in an earlier attempt to escape from life's vexations.

This guy doesn't qualify for an award yet, but he is a rising star. Next time he might just get hold of a 12 gauge shotgun...

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Terry Lane

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Selected From The Darwin Awards Gift Shop @ Zazzle




Purchases Help Fund The Darwin Awards Team

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend