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The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. |
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When I walked in with his chart, the man sheepishly unfastened his pants to reveal his injured penis. Fortunately it was not bleeding, but I was appalled to see a mid-shaft gash going at least halfway through. After the initial shock, I looked closely and saw a few torn-out stitches. He explained that the week-old initial injury had been repaired by an urologist, and he was in to see me merely because the wound had opened up again. Naturally I asked him how the injury had happened. "I tried to make a horse do something she didn't want," he said, and had been bitten in the process. He deserves a Darwin Award since the wound caused by his attempt at horse fellatio severed the nerves necessary to procreate, though he retained his (disfigured) penis.
DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2009
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Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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