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2001 Personal Accounts
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The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. |
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Power Over Plate Glass
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(2001, Guildford, England) During a short spell as a police constable in
Surrey, I came to be involved in a reported "serious incident." Police
were called in to assist a severely injured lad of 16 who was being rushed
to hospital with a nearly-severed foot. The victim said he had been
walking away from a nightclub, when he and a friend became embroiled in an
altercation with an unknown person or persons, resulting in his being
thrown through a ten-foot plate glass shop window. The area was sealed
off, large amounts of blood on the footpath photographed and washed away
for hygiene reasons, and the windowless-store owner notified.
On reaching hospital and sobering up, the victim explained the true story. The somewhat intoxicated young buck had bet his friend that he could smash the shop window. After all, he was a fit footballer with powerful legs. And did I say drunk? To make his point, he stood with his back to the glass and performed a "donkey kick" into the bottom of the window. Our lad failed to take the following points into consideration: Glass is easier to break if you hit the edge, as the energy can dissipate effectively. And plate glass in this case was 1.5 inches thick; 10 feet of 1.5-inch thick plate glass falling straight down weighs a great deal. Although he lost a lot of blood, the victim did not "kick the bucket" and hence this only an Honourable Mention, but he did ruin any chance of a football career (though he kept his foot), and given the sexual antics of soccer stars he probably reduced the potential spread of his seed as a result. I felt so sorry for him, I convinced my boss to authorise a police caution, even though the damage ran to over 5000 pounds! Heeooor, Heeoor, Heeoor to have known better!
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