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The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes reluctant) readers. |
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(May 2000, Michigan) My grade school classmate grew up on a dairy farm in northern Michigan, where winter temperatures can drop well below freezing. Materials that normally separate easily, such as grain, can turn into solid blocks.
In the winter, dairy cows eat silage, which consists of shredded alfalfa and cornstalks. It is stored in large silos attached to the dairy barn. Back in 1974, a particularly cold spell froze the silage 12 feet up in the silo, which is more exposed to the cold than the lower part that is adjacent to the barn. My classmate's father fed the cows the lower portion of the silage, but the upper portion was frozen solid, and remained suspended roof-like over the floor of the silo. His father decided to dislodge the silage. There was still feed enough for several days, and the man could have brought a small heater into the silo to thaw the material overnight. He could also have climbed to the ladder leading to the top of the silo, and dislodged the ice from a higher vantage. Instead he stepped into the silo and used a long 2x4 to prod loose the tons of frozen silage above him. My classmate and his brothers used the tractor to extract their father from several tons of silage, so the undertaker could do his job. The local paper just listed this incident as a "farm accident" in the person's obituary. DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
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Joshua says, "There is no way this could have happened. Silos unload from the top down, and if it freezes, you just climb in and break it apart so the unloader can do its job. Furthermore, silo doors open to the inside, so there is no way that someone can open a door that has silage pressed against it, let alone unload it by hand." |
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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