The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
1999 Personals
Bridge Bowling
Packing the Wardrobe
Disco Dork
Gangster Blues
Tide-ally Impaired
Bridge Bonzai
Jump Rope Blues
Levelled
Trephination
Industrious Brain Dead Private
Train Dodge!
Betrayal of Trussed
Quarry Story
Unkindest Cut of All
Flak Vest Test
Coke, the Real Thing
What a Gas!
Cleaning the Head
Diving Lessons
Polar Bear Lesson
North Pacific Deckpecker
The Iceman Exiteth
Withdrawing Money
Car Surfing
Fun with Forklifts
Cement Punching Bag
Jet Ski Jock
Wives With Chloroform
Leap of Faith
Helium and Oxygen Don't Mix
Elemental Mistake
Newton's Laws of Motion
Accident Waiting to Happen
Breaking the Law
Cat-Astrophe
Other Personal Years 
2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
1999 Personal Accounts
Email a Friend The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes deceased) readers. Next
Prev
Random

 
 
Wives With Chloroform 
1999 Personal Account

(27 April 1999) This story is true though I have no physical proof, just that it is talked about at family reunions about my great great grandfather.

He was affectionately called Dr. Bob because he was the town doctor in the area of Blackwater Falls, West Virginia, in the mid to late 1800s where he lived with his wife. He frequently had insomnia and would put chloraform on a handkerchief which he placed on his face and asked his wife to remove when he had fallen asleep. She dutifully did this without fail.

Unbeknownst to his wife, he was quite affectionate with the women of the area. One day, a young teenage girl left a baby boy on his door step claiming it was his and that she could not care for it, nor bear the shame. His wife said they could take the baby in, as they did not have any children of their own, and said that she forgave him.

That evening, when he couldn't sleep, he put the chloraformed hanky on his face. Unfortunately for him, his wife "forgot" to remove it and he expired. It is never mentioned whether or not she was charged with a crime, only that the baby was sent to live with one of Dr. Bob's siblings. I'm not sure if it qualifies as a Darwin award, because he was able to procreate before he died.

The child was my great grandfather who was a genius in his own right and produced other geniuses. But you know what they say. . . there is a fine line between genius and nuts. Some of my aunts and uncles have crossed that line. My Uncle Bob invented the security system that is set off by body heat. He is now living on welfare because he has been declared mentally incompetent.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012

Submitted by: Janet Behning

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!
Previous Directions Next

Selected From The Darwin Awards Gift Shop @ Zazzle




Purchases Help Fund The Darwin Awards Team

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend