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1998 Personal Accounts
| The Darwin Awards salutes the spirit portrayed in the following personal accounts, submitted by loyal (and sometimes deceased) readers. |
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Rub Dub Dub Men in a Tub
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(December 1997) G. Wallace declares, "This is real! The people involved are still alive, and they were not using drugs at the time, although I sincerely hope that their judgment was clouded by their previous drug use." About 10 years ago, two 17-year-old friends named Ronnie and Steve were bored and scrounging about for something to do. They noticed that Steve's father had thrown out his old hot tub to make room for the new one, and they decided to sail it across a nearby canal. I don't know exactly how deep this canal is, but I do know that it is a major shipping channel with a horrendous undertow. It is at least 200 yards across. | Ronnie and Steve arrive at the canal, put the hot tub in, and are happy to find that it floats. They climb in and manage to paddle a quarter of the way across the canal. By this time, quite a bit of water has splashed in, and is sloshing around the bottom of the hot tub. They decide that they need to remove this water. They reasoned, "Since the water is coming in over the sides, if we pull out this drain plug, the water will go out the hole." So they pull out the plug, and you can imagine what happened next. Luckily, it was a slow day in the shipping channel, and the Coast Guard rescued them within an hour. They were freezing cold, but unhurt. |
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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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