Subject: Darwin Awards Alert, February 2010 --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Darwin Awards now has an RSS Feed! http://www.DarwinAwards.com/rss.xml Greetings from Team Darwin Awards! Wendy, volunteer moderators, assistant Ariane La Gauche and new artist Kevin Buckley are working hard to bring you hilarious tales of misadventure. Feel a little bit smarter about yourself. At least you didn't do this: Celebrate Charles Darwin's birthday on February 12th! --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ DOUBLE PARKING 2009 Darwin Award Nominee -- Confirmed 10 December 2009, Philippines | This small island nation has already produced several of the most illustrious Darwin Award winners. Intelligence Blunders: National Bureau of Investigation agents cop a smoke in a room full of siezed explosives, and Home Grown Parachute: An airplane hijacker robs passengers then bails out with an untested homemade parachute. Now the Philippines have produced that rare oddity, the Double Darwin Award. We begin with Francisco C. and Ronaldo C., two businessmen who own restaurants adjacent to one another on Apacible Boulevard in Batangas. Their tempers erupt over a poorly parked car. One has partially blocked the door to the other's establishment, and this does not sit well. Heated words are exchanged, a fistfight breaks out! But bystanders pacifiy the fighters, and the situation is defused. Or is it? Each man retreats to his respective car, pulls out a gun, and shoot the other--killing both. Francisco suffered two bullet wounds to his chest, Renaldo was shot once beneath his arm. Francisco, 41, and Ronaldo, 39, two enemies brought together in death--much to their own chagrin. VOTE: http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2009-20.html Reference: abs-cbnnews.com --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ TINY ELEC FENCE Darwin Award Nominee -- Confirmed 10 January 2010, Brazil | An electrical discharge made toast of municipal guard Arthur de Souza Coelho, 47, on Sunday evening. According to police reports, he had installed a tiny electric fence around his car to protect against the frequent robberies that occur in his neighborhood in Belem, Para. Then (direct translation from Portuguese) "he forgot that he had left the fence on and he finished dying with the electric shock." After all, we are all dying, but some finish sooner than others. VOTE: http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2010-03.html Reference: oglobo.globo.com --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ MOCK DEATH Darwin Award Nominee -- Confirmed 1 November 2009, Belgium | Policemen received a desesperate call from a man who had been attacked on a motorway near the town of Liege. The 37-year-old man was named Thierry Blues. When the policemen arrived, he was lying dead on the ground, his body stabbed, his car burning. Witnesses had seen a big truck driving away. But there was no evidence of fighting or struggling around the body--only the knife wounds on his shoulder and neck. Puzzled, inspectors analysed his cell phone calls. He had recently reconnected with an old friend, a fact that intrigued Inspector Closeau. I mean, Commissioner Lamoque. Childhood friend, lost sight of for ten years, back in touch? Lamoque asked the 42-year-old friend in for a chat about the roadside aggression. The dead man was aggrieved regarding insurance money he felt was owed, but never paid, after his restaurant burned two years before. He asked his old friend to bring him a knife and a jerrycan of fuel, and leave him alone on the motorway, a man with a plan to get the insurance money one way or another. The "victim" then set his car on fire, called police, and stabbed himself, accidentally cutting an artery in his neck. By the sime his simulated act of violence was over, he was over too, face against the ground ten yards from his burned car. Roll credits on this little staged drama. VOTE: http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2009-19.html Referene: Derniere Heute (Belgium) --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ TEEMING WITH CROCODILES Darwin Award Nominee -- Confirmed 1 January 2010, South Africa | Let's see, class. Do you or don't you go swimming in the crocodile-infested Limpopo? Do or don't leave your friends on the banks of the great grey-green, greasy Olifants River (main tributary of the Limpopo) and swim in its limpid waters not once, not twice, but three times the day you are finally devoured by that old crocodile? Let's just say it was a short New Year for Mariska B., 27, a waitress and former swimmer. A long-time resident of Phalaborwa said locals know "you don't even put a toe in the river, it's teeming with crocodiles and hippos." This local, on her third refreshing dip of the day, didn't have time to scream or even struggle. All they saw was a ripple on the water where seconds before she had been swimming. Did I mention that swimming was strictly prohibited? Police searched for Buitendag's body with long poles, and with the chemical detectors known as sniffer dogs, but found nothing. The cycle of life continues. VOTE: http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2010-01.html Reference: news24.com --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ SHE LIKED FEATHERS Darwin Award Nominee -- Confirmed (22 Feb 2009, UK) A woman in her 40's was following a coastal footpath along the top of a cliff in Devon. Fencing had been put in place to protect people from falling to their deaths, but this protective fencing was no match for the allure of a feather blown by the breezes just out of reach. While chasing the feather, the woman climbed the fence, slipped, and fell 80 feet. Although she was airlifted to the hospital, there was no cure for what ailed her--she died of head injuries the following day. VOTE: http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2009-21.html Reference: telegraph.co.uk --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ New on the website--a plethora of astounding personal accounts of stupidity, thes at-risk survivors have something to say, and we'd better listen up while they are still able to warn us. Here are brief teasers for: Carbide Shooting (darwin award nominee) 1 January 2010, Netherlands | Every now and then a completely new window into the world opens before our eyes. Here we have rural Dutch families enjoying their traditional winter sport, carbidschieten, or Carbide Shooting... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2010-02.html HARD SCIENCE: WITH ZOMBIES! Since reading the Zombie Survival Guide, Bub is convinced that the undead will rise up. Bub cited two facts that I found to be in error. 1) the human skull is one of the hardest surfaces in nature. 2) a medieval mace lacks the stopping power to crush it... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2010-06.html FLYING DOOR (at-risk survivor) (personal account) When I was in the Marines, one evening I showed up for watch duty to find the NCO limping, and covered with dozens of fresh scabs. He was reluctant to reveal what caused his injuries... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2010-05.html ANCHOR BOMB (at-risk survivor) Shiver me timbers! A man from Logmozero, Karelia, a village in northwestern Russia, was brought to the attention of police when concerned neighbors realized he was using a World War II aviation bomb as an anchor for his boat... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2010-04.html SKATE THE INTERSTATE The Burlington Free Press reported that a man with a suspended driver's license was caught pulling a sled behind his vehicle along Interstate 89. The driver was trying to switch places with the sled rider... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2010-03.html THE METTLE OF THE KETTLE (at-risk survivor) The Terrible Teakettle Incident. Sunday morning I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, put the kettle on, prepared the cups, and whilst waiting for the boil, I thought I'd refill my lighter... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2010-02.html AGUA SKI CALAMITY (at-risk survivor) December 2009, Mexico | Sun, sea, sand, well-built hombre's in small bathing suits, Mazatlan is everything you could wish for on a long winter holiday. Boats, sunscreen, rum-related judgment-imparing drinks, what could possibly go sideways? http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2009-37.html PIPE CLEANER (at-risk survivor) January 2010, UK | Oh dear. Yet another man has got his hoo haw stuck in a pipe, taking many delicate maneuvers with a blow torch and metal grinder to cut him loose from the steel, might as well say it, iron maiden... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2010-01.html WHITE SPIRIT (at-risk survivor) Marie-Eve writes: I would like to submit a friend's accident to the Darwin Awards Supreme Court. He doesn't deserve First Prize, but hopefully he could reach the level of special mention... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2009-36.html BONEHEAD BOWLING (at-risk survivor) Category: Gravity. Location: Cincinnati. Date: Super Bowl weekend. Brad tends to be rather wild at times. Brad was bowling. On one of his turns, he had trouble controlling the ball. Everyone froze... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2009-35.html DUCT DON'T (at risk survivor) December 2009, Canada | Peter has expertly inspected buildings around the world for many years. He entered a structure with a boiler room in the bowels of the building, containing a vast air duct that feeds into the air filters... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/stupid/stupid2009-34.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ SUBSCRIBE: join-news@list.darwinawards.com CANCEL: leave-news@list.darwinawards.com HELP: news-welcome@list.darwinawards.com IMPORTANT! The word 'gazelle' MUST be on the Subject: line! --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Copyright 2010 DarwinAwards.com -- Be safe! Forward this newsletter to friends. ---