DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER -- 09 January 2001 <-- - Oops! 2002 --> IN THIS ISSUE: Darwin Award: COP CAP Darwin Award: SLOW LEARNER Darwin Award: THIRST FOR DEATH Honorable Mention: SHELL NECKLACE Personal Account: THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Darwin Award: COP CAP August 2001, Missouri | When the Pierce City Chief of Police reached into his trunk and pulled out his shotgun, he should have remembered to point the gun aside. But even the best-trained men make mistakes. His “quick draw” precipitated a fatal self-shooting when the trigger caught on a loop of fabric, and he accidentally peppered himself with bullets. --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Darwin Award: SLOW LEARNER Two reminders to fasten your seatbelt before risking your life. March 2001, Virginia | Brandon, 21, was driving to the courthouse to face charges of reckless driving, speeding, driving without a license, and failure to wear seat belts, when he lost control of his speeding vehicle. The Hyundai crossed the median of Interstate 64 and collided with a truck pulling a flatbed trailer carrying three cars. As luck would have it, Brandon had again chosen not to wear his seatbelt. He was ejected from the car, and died at the scene. March 2001, North Carolina | Justin's tale is more complicated, but his fate is equally apt. A failure to wear his seatbelt led him to 18 days in a coma, after he crashed his car at 90 miles per hour and was ejected from a window. But that was only the first of his mistakes. One year later, Justin was riding with a friend, again sans seatbelt, when the speeding vehicle careened off the pavement. Once again he was involuntarily ejected from the window, only this time he was killed on impact. --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ To subscribe to (or cancel) this newsletter, email the word "subscribe" or "cancel" to news@DarwinAwards.com or visit http://www.DarwinAwards.com/misc/newsletter.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Darwin Award: THIRST FOR DEATH January 2001, New Zealand | The west coast of New Zealand is threaded with narrow, windy roads that climb and descend the hills at improbable angles. A Christchurch driver with little patience for those dangerous curves was preparing a hot cup of tea in her car when she learned one last lesson about respect for the road. Nothing, but nothing, could keep her from her afternoon tea that day. Well all right, one thing could keep her from her tea. Karma. While she was trying to brew a cuppa, her car plunged over a precipice and into a creek. The woman was found dead three days later, still holding a box of teabags, with a mug wedged against the steering wheel and a thermos of hot water beneath her feet. There were no brake marks on the road. --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Read our new book! 119 astounding Darwin Awards tales and more... http://www.DarwinAwards.com/book/?0111 Send me a SASE and I'll send you an autographed bookplate. Darwin Awards Bookplate, 375 Hudson St., New York NY 10014 --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Honorable Mention: SHELL NECKLACE March 2001, Washington | A 19-year-old Spokane man damaged his hand while attempting to string a necklace of live ammunition. He was punching holes in the shell casings using an awl and hammer, when one of the projectiles exploded in his hands. Perhaps he should have collected the shells from the beach, instead of the artillery range. --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Personal Account: THEORETICAL KNOWLEDGE (Thanks Alex!) April 1998, Canada | Some people talk smart but act like future Darwin Award winners. I had just emerged from my high school chemistry class, not my best subject. On my way to the cafeteria, I was joined by Mr. Junior Einstein, who was happily spouting chemical gibberish. He began pontificating on the reactions caused by adding heat to certain elements such as neon and aluminum. Once we reached the cafeteria, he nonchalantly placed his food in the microwave oven. As it cooked, Einstein explained that aluminum can explode when heated sufficiently. As he talked, I began to detect the faint scent of smoke in the air, which I mentioned to my guest lecturer. As we turned towards the microwave, his jaw dropped low enough to accommodate a rack of test tubes. His dish of food was blazing. One second later the oven was rocked by a loud Kablaam! This candidate for an Honorable Mention suddenly discovered that theoretical knowledge does not equal practical wisdom. The chemistry lesson he learned in the cafeteria was far more valuable: “Don't mix aluminum foil with heat!” --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ Sign up for our free Calendar drawing, or buy your own for $8.76. http://darwinawards.com/cgi-bin/frames.cgi?/misc/free.calendar.html --------------------------------------------+---+-+---+-+-+-+-+ There are a few more new stories on the website: BASS ACKWARDS http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-32.html PUMPED UP! http://www.darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1997-13.html FIRE ANTS http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2001-33.html ---