DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - April 1998 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = TABLE of CONTENTS: MESSAGE FROM WEBMASTER WENDY WIFE TOSSING IN BUENOS AIRES GUY GULPS GOLDFISH IGNITING FIREWORKS THE EASY WAY = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = MESSAGE FROM WEBMASTER WENDY Greetings to the 2241 subscribers who find humour in the macabre. Many amazing stories have been submitted in the first quarter of 1998. Three of the most humorous are below. Thanks for your patience as the backlog grows and my time to contend with the nominees shrinks. Visit the website and mull over the Philosphical Question of the Month: Should the Catholic priesthood be nominated for a group Darwin Award? Speak with you again in May! = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Wife Tossing in Buenos Aires 1998 Darwin Awards Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin Did he win the argument? It happened in February 1998 in a working-class Boedo neighborhood in Buenos Aires. During a heated marital dispute, a 25-year-old man picked up his 20-year-old wife and threw her off their eighth-floor apartment balcony. To his dismay, she became tangled in the power lines below. He immediately leapt from the balcony and fell towards his wife. We can only speculate as to his reasons. Was he angrily trying to finish the job, or was he remorsefully hoping to rescue her? He did not accomplish either goal. He missed the power lines completely, and plunged to his death. The woman managed to swing over to a nearby balcony and was saved. Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Guy Gulps Goldfish 1998 Darwin Awards Nominee Donfirmed True by Darwin Hungry or just stupid? January 29, 1998, was a fateful day for Michael Gentner. He was shooting the breeze with a group of men, watching a friend clean his fish tank. Alcoholic beverages may have been present. The friend complained that one fish in particular had become a menace. It had outgrown the tank and was eating other specimens. Michael volunteered to assist. He seized the 5-inch fish and attempted to swallow it. Unfortunately, it stuck in his throat. As Michael gasped futilely for breath, turned blue, and sank to his knees, his three friends realized that something was amiss. They contacted 911 and informed the dispatcher that Gentner had eaten some fish, and was having trouble breathing. Paramedics were quickly dispatched. They arrived to find the fish tail still protruding from the victim's mouth. Despite their best efforts, the 23-year-old could not be resuscitated. Although the friends did not attempt the Heimlich maneuver or administer CPR, Akron, Ohio police said it was unlikely that murder charges would be filed. "If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, you're stupid," police Maj. Mike Matulavich said. Apparently Michael Gentner was not a victim of homicide, he was just a Darwin Awards contender. Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Igniting Fireworks the Easy Way 1998 Darwin Awards Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin There are safe methods of lighting fireworks. There are dangerous methods of lighting fireworks. Two residents of villages in East Java were killed when they chose the latter method of ignition. Firecrackers are illegal in Indonesia. However, they can be purchased from the black market during celebrations such as Idul Fitri. And boys will be boys, the world over. In January, Isomudin, a 28-year-old resident of Kenongo, and Matkijo, a 20-year-old from Telasih, obtained a large quantity of firecrackers and connected their detonation fuses to a motorcycle battery. The two perpetrators proceeded to start the engine. The resulting explosion could be heard from a distance of two kilometers. Onlookers attempted to rescue Isomudin and Matkijo, but their burns were too severe. Both men died at the scene. Eight onlookers were treated at a local hospital for their injuries. Copyright © 1998 www.DarwinAwards.com = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = DARWIN AWARDS NEWSLETTER - APRIL 1998 = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = Visit our archives! Next issue arrives in email boxes MAY 1998. To unsubscribe, please reply to this email with the word "cancel" = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =