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| European Mirror | German | French |
Darwin Awards
Literary Quotes
Suggested by Readers

My favorite relevant quotations!
'To comprehend what mathematicians mean by infinity is to contemplate the extent of human stupidity.' --Voltaire

'Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do.' --Bertrand Russell

'Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.' --Albert Camus

'Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.' --Elbert Hubbard

'The two (2) most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.' --Harlan Ellison

'Just think how stupid the average person is, then realize that half of them are even stupider!' --George Carlin

'If I only had a brain...' --Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz

'In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.' --Konrad Adenauer

'When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.' -Mark Twain?

'He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.' -- Benjamin Franklin

'There is no sin except stupidity.' --Oscar Wilde

'Crazy as carrying timber into the woods.' --Roman idiom.

'If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? ~Will Rogers

'Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.' -Isaac Asimov

'I see no problems between us that could not be solved by your departure.' -Mark Twain

'The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.' -Steven Wright

'There are two (2) things in the universe that are truly abundant: Hydrogen and stupidity.' -Frank Zappa

'Logic is the cement of our civilization, with which we ascend from chaos, using reason as our guide. Or not.' -T'Plana'hath, Vulcan Philosopher

'He who hesitates... is sometimes saved.' -James Thurber

'Humans can always be counted on to assert with vigor their God-given right to be stupid.' --Dean Koontz in False Memory

'I did not go to his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved.' -Mark Twain

'It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart.' -Bob Pippen Fosse

'He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. --Saki

'It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.' --UNIX Fortune

'A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice.' --Bill Cosby

'If all the fools of the world should die, Lord God how lonely I would be.' --Mark Twain

'Against stupidity, the Gods themselves contend in vain.' -Friedrich von Schiller

'Such as his life such was his end.' --Cotgrave 1611 French/English Dictionary

'Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.' -Elbert Hubbard

'We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.' -Benjamin Franklin

'If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.' --John Kenneth Galbraith.

'Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.' --Douglas Adams

'Natural laws have no pity.' -Robert Heinlein

'Only two things are infinite -- the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the Universe.' --Albert Einstein, Scientific Advisor to the Darwin Awards.

'Stupidity is the only universal capital crime; the sentence is death. There is no appeal, and execution is carried out automatically and without pity.' --Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love by Robert Heinlein.

'The best laid schemes of mice and men go oft astray.' -Robert Burns

'You are the weakest link. Goodbye!' (TV Show Quotation)

'Those whom life does not cure, death will.' -Cormac McCarthy

'Though the mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small. With patience He stands waiting, with exactness grinds He all.' -Friedrich Von Logau

'There is a fine line between recklessness and courage.' --Paul McCartney

'Natural laws have no pity.' --Robert Heinlein

James Thurber said, 'He who hesitates... is sometimes saved.'

'If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask a question?' Scott Adams' Dilbert

Frank Zappa observed, 'It's not getting any smarter out there. You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.'

The Darwin Awards illustrate Twain's observation that 'man is the only animal that blushes--or has reason to.'

'Common sense is not so common.' -Voltaire

'The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.' -Herbert Spencer

'Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.' --John Wayne




Also submitted / not as colorful

'Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.' -Abraham Lincoln
'If some Power the gift would give us, to see ourselves as others see us! It would from many a blunder free us, and foolish notion.' -Robert Burns
'Think of it as evolution in action.' Sign above a popular suicide jump in _Oath_of_Fealty_ by Niven and Pournelle.
As Douglas Adams said, 'Life is wasted on the living.'
Darwin Awards epitomize the view of Ralph Waldo Emerson, that 'all life is an experiment.'
'No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs. We should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed, and love of power.' -P.J. O'Rourke
'Humans are not the end result of predictable evolutionary progress, but rather a fortuitous... twig on the enormously arborescent bush of life' -Stephen J. Gould
'One small (mis)step for man, one giant leap for mankind.' -Neil Armstrong, paraphrased.
'Whom the Gods would destroy, they first make mad.' -Euripides
'I find it the greatest pity that she had thought of contraceptive before her mother...' -Oscar Wilde?
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity--Robert Heinlein
'Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.' --Mark Twain";

'Darwinian Man, though well-behaved, at best is but a monkey shaved.' --Gilbert and Sullivan's Princess Ida opera--a considerable insult to monkeys!
'I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone.' Lady Bracknell, Royal Patron to the Darwin Awards, in Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest.
'It is a solemn thought: Dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.' --Mark Twain"
Darwin Award contenders would do well to remember the wise words of Brooke Shields: 'If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'
'What separates man from other animals in this world is humanity.' New Mexico Senator Roman Maes explaining his opposition to the death penalty.
'The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.' --Malcom Forbes
'Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.' -Peter Ustinov
'I'm my own worst enemy.' -PINK

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