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1999 Urban Legends
| The following stories are apocryphal. They are included on the Darwin Awards website because they are inspirational narratives of the astounding efforts of legendary Darwin Awards contenders. |
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Missionary Miscalculation
As it turned out the Reverend Newton Day guessed wrong. The Tuoari tribesmen promptly ate the Reverend Day his wife and his three daughters. Concerned locals said, "We tried to tell him that Tuoaris don't want missionaries. They are perfectly happy worshiping the devil and eating any juicy white man who comes along." "Neighboring tribes say that the preacher and his family were in the stewpot before he ever got his Bible out of his duffel bag," Detective Ike C. Doka reported. "The Tuoaris ate like kings and danced all night long." |
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Submitted by: Gregory Miller Edited by: Jim Watson | ||
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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