1999 Urban Legends
| The following stories are apocryphal. They are included on the Darwin Awards website because they are inspirational narratives of the astounding efforts of legendary Darwin Awards contenders. |
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Breasts Injure Four
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(June 1999) Four people were admitted to a hospital after a string of bizarre accidents earlier this month. Sherry was admitted with a head wound. Tim was diagnosed with whiplash and chest contusions. Bryan suffered from torn gum tissue, and several of Pamela's fingers were bitten off. These are the facts: When Sherry dropped her husband off for his first day of work, she kissed him goodbye and flashed her breasts at him. "I'm still not sure why I did it," she said. "I didn't think anyone would see, and besides, it couldn't have been for more than two seconds." |
Unbeknownst to her, the cab driver did see her breasts, and he lost control of his taxi. It careened over a curb and into the corner of the Johnson Medical Building, where Pamela, a dental technician, was cleaning Bryan's gums. When the car came through the wall, Bryan bit down in shock, severing two fingers from Pamela's righthand. Breast-flasher Sherry was injured by masonry falling from the Johnson Medical Building. Addition: |
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