The Darwin Awards

2009 Darwin Awards

Next Prev Random Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it.

Painkiller
2009 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(17 October 2009, Minnesota) On October 26, charges were dismissed against Lucas, 32, who six weeks earlier had pleaded guilty to knowingly violating registration required of a predatory offender. Charges were dismissed....because Lucas was dead.

In a related story, on the afternoon of October 17 in the city of Bock, an injured "hit and run victim" was reported. The pedestrian, found on the side of the road, died in the ambulance at the scene.

In a related story, police reported that a 32-year-old man had concocted a scheme to stage an accident in order to obtain prescription drugs. The plan was to jump out of a moving vehicle, become injured, go to the hospital and receive narcotic painkillers. That plan failed when its mastermind, Lucas, died at the scene due to head injuries.

In other words: Lucas, 32, avoided a serious parole violation because he was deceased due to injuries he caused himself by leaping from a moving vehicle in order to obtain prescription painkillers. Ouch!

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Submitted by: Melissa Jabas, Randy Furman
Reference: Mille Lacs Messenger, Mille Lacs County Times

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