The Darwin Awards 

2009 Darwin News
Sparkleberry Lane
Muffled Explosion
Mock Death
Dying To Go
A Shoe-In Winner
Crushing Debt
Tennessee Pee
Race To The Bottooommm
Doublemint Dumb
Double Dip
She Talks Faster Than She Walks
Saw It Coming!
Dynamite Rancher
Poor Decision On A Major Scale
Missed (But Not Missed By) The Bus
Epitaph, She Liked Feathers
Fool's Gold
Wetting The Bed
Bricks in the Head
Double Parking
Nutty Putty Cave
Other Darwin Years 
2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2009 Darwin Awards
Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

2009 Darwin Award Winner
Confirmed True by Darwin

(17 October 2009, Minnesota) On October 26, charges were dismissed against Lucas, 32, who six weeks earlier had pleaded guilty to knowingly violating registration required of a predatory offender. Charges were dismissed....because Lucas was dead.

In a related story, on the afternoon of October 17 in the city of Bock, an injured "hit and run victim" was reported. The pedestrian, found on the side of the road, died in the ambulance at the scene.

In a related story, police reported that a 32-year-old man had concocted a scheme to stage an accident in order to obtain prescription drugs. The plan was to jump out of a moving vehicle, become injured, go to the hospital and receive narcotic painkillers. That plan failed when its mastermind, Lucas, died at the scene due to head injuries.

In other words: Lucas, 32, avoided a serious parole violation because he was deceased due to injuries he caused himself by leaping from a moving vehicle in order to obtain prescription painkillers. Ouch!


  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10  
                            © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Melissa Jabas, Randy Furman
Reference: Mille Lacs Messenger, Mille Lacs County Times

Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2018