The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2009 Darwins
Sparkleberry Lane
Muffled Explosion
Mock Death
Dying To Go
A Shoe-In Winner
Crushing Debt
Tennessee Pee
Race To The Bottooommm
Painkiller
Doublemint Dumb
Double Dip
She Talks Faster Than She Walks
Saw It Coming!
Dynamite Rancher
Poor Decision On A Major Scale
Missed (But Not Missed By) The Bus
Epitaph, She Liked Feathers
Fool's Gold
Wetting The Bed
Bricks in the Head
Double Parking
Nutty Putty Cave
Other Darwin Years 
2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2009 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Painkiller
2009 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(17 October 2009, Minnesota) On October 26, charges were dismissed against Lucas, 32, who six weeks earlier had pleaded guilty to knowingly violating registration required of a predatory offender. Charges were dismissed....because Lucas was dead.

In a related story, on the afternoon of October 17 in the city of Bock, an injured "hit and run victim" was reported. The pedestrian, found on the side of the road, died in the ambulance at the scene.

In a related story, police reported that a 32-year-old man had concocted a scheme to stage an accident in order to obtain prescription drugs. The plan was to jump out of a moving vehicle, become injured, go to the hospital and receive narcotic painkillers. That plan failed when its mastermind, Lucas, died at the scene due to head injuries.

In other words: Lucas, 32, avoided a serious parole violation because he was deceased due to injuries he caused himself by leaping from a moving vehicle in order to obtain prescription painkillers. Ouch!

MEDIA REFERENCES

Awful? 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great?
Hate it! Love it!

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: Melissa Jabas, Randy Furman
Reference: Mille Lacs Messenger, Mille Lacs County Times

Previous Directions Next

DARWINAWARDS MUG

Amusing coffee mug "Honoring those who give their all to improve our species." Made by Wendy "Darwin" Northcutt. Awesome, playful pottery mug is hand-made and signed; a well-crafted durable stoneware pottery mug large enough to easily accomodate 15 ounces of hot coffee. Check it out!




The Darwin Awards Gift Shop at Zazzle

 

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend