The Darwin Awards 

2009 Darwin News
Sparkleberry Lane
Muffled Explosion
Mock Death
Dying To Go
A Shoe-In Winner
Crushing Debt
Tennessee Pee
Race To The Bottooommm
Doublemint Dumb
Double Dip
She Talks Faster Than She Walks
Saw It Coming!
Dynamite Rancher
Poor Decision On A Major Scale
Missed (But Not Missed By) The Bus
Epitaph, She Liked Feathers
Fool's Gold
Wetting The Bed
Bricks in the Head
Double Parking
Nutty Putty Cave
Other Darwin Years 
2018 2017 2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum


2009 Darwin Awards
Honoring Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool--by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Sparkleberry Lane  
2009 Darwin Award Winner

(31 July 2009, South Carolina) Two disguised men entered a Sprint store on Sparkleberry Lane, pulled out guns, and stole wallets, purses, and credit cards from employees before ordering them into a bathroom. Both men fled, but they could not flee from their own stupidity. 23-year-old James T. had disguised himself by painting his face gold.

Yes, in order to conceal his identity during the robbery, James had covered his skin with spray paint. If this isn't a Darwin Award, what is? Paints are clearly labelled, do not get on skin, do not get in eyes, do not inhale. Paint fumes are well-known to be toxic, and the metallic colors are particularly noxious. James began having trouble breathing (surprise!) and died wheezing shortly after the robbery took place.

To add insult to injury, the disguise was ineffective. Witnesses were certain as to the identity of their assailant. Had he lived, James, like his surviving accomplice, would have been charged with armed robbery.


  0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10  
                            © 1994 - 2017
Submitted by: Ashley Murphy
Reference:, The (South Carolina) State.

Previous Directions Next

Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend © 1994 - 2018