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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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(17 April 2005, Syracuse, Indiana) Late one night, 26-year-old Joseph was
blazing down the road in the Chain O'Lakes district on his Yamaha moped.
When he saw flashing lights in his rear-view mirror, well... with the wind
whistling through his ears, he apparently concluded that his moped could
outrun a police cruiser. This hard-boiled Heck's Angels wannabe revved his
engine and roared off.
The speedometer needle flashed past 10--20--30mph, and within a minute, it was in the red zone at a blinding 40 mph. But no matter how fast Joseph went, he was unable to shake the pursuing police officer from his tail! If only he had a spare JATO! The two-stroke engine was buzzing like a hummingbird from the strain of the chase. Perhaps he was thinking, "You'll never take me alive, copper!" as he sped through the intersection. Whatever his last thoughts were, Joseph lost control of his would-be road rocket, crashed into a tree, and died instantly.
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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