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| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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(12 April 2004, Netherlands) Certain land animals have evolved over the
millennia to use speed in the pursuit of prey or avoidance of
predators. The cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus) can run as fast as 60 mph over
the plains of Africa, and the pronghorn antelope (Antilocapra americana)
can reach 55 mph over the plains of North America. Humans (Homo sapiens)
are not among these animals built for speed. The very fastest human can
achieve a maximum sprint of 16 mph for short distances.
So things were bound to go wrong when a 19-year-old male, driving the A67 highway near the Dutch town of Blerick, sought to impress his two passengers by putting his car on cruise control at 20 mph, getting out of the car, and running alongside it. He planned to jump back in and drive on, but the moment his feet hit the ground, he fell over and slammed headfirst into the asphalt. He was admitted to the hospital with severe brain damage, and died the next day.
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Reader Jacob says, "Your statement that a human can achieve a maximum sprint of 16 mph for short distances, is incorrect. According to the Guiness Book of World Records, the fastest 100m dash time is less than 10 seconds, resulting in an average speed of 23 mph from a dead stop."
Reader Aaron says, "The current world record for a 100m sprint is 9.77 seconds, for an average of 22.9 miles/hour, so his top speed must have been higher. I believe that Ignisious Gaisah achieved a top speed of 45km/h (28mph). Also, many people are able to 'run' on a treadmill while holding a support bar at speeds greater than 20 miles per hour. It seems that this Darwin Winner's stupidity was not in the speed but in the fact that he was simply uncoordinated. Is uncoordination really a lack of common sense?"
Reader Will points out pettishly, "it isn't the fact that someone can run over twenty miles and hour, it is the fact that all of a sudden your legs have to go from zero to 20 instantly. "
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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