The Darwin Awards 
HOME
Darwin Awards
At-Risk Survivors
Slush Pile
2003 Darwins
Unsafe and Insane
Ultimate Quest for Airtime
Dying for a Ciggie
Workin' at the Car Wash
Love Struck
Slaughterhouse Robbery
Second Time's the Charm
Jack Up
ZAP!
Hurricane Blumpkin
Pancake Thief
Exploding Ex-tortionist
A Honey of a Buzz
Killer Shades
Sharp Landing
Tree Hard, Head Empty
Master Welder
Shooting Blanks
Asphalt Tattoo
Self-Demolition Derby
Other Darwin Years 
2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002 2001 2000 1999 1998 1997 1996 1995 1994 Vintage
 
~ Random Story ~
Email Alert!
NEW! Gift Shop
Rules  Search
Contact Darwin
Submit a Story
Philosophy Forum
Home

  

Darwin Awards
2003 Darwin Awards
Email a Friend Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Hurricane Blumpkin
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

(19 September 2003, Virginia) Another day, another rugby player...

Hurricane Isabel whipped shallow creeks into raging rivers, before she calmed down to a violent tropical storm. What better time for a canoe trip? Especially at 2:30 in the morning, on a moonless night? Enter "Blumpkin" 21, captain of the University rugby team, described as "insane, just indestructible."

He left his own party with friends who "thought it would be all ha, ha and funny" to take the canoe straight down Blacks Run Stream, to Blumpkin's old house.

Winds were gusting to 50 mph, as nearly a foot of rain fell on the Shenandoah Valley. The Boy Scout canoe merit badge says, "If in doubt... survey the water from shore. Do not run any but the mildest rapids unless you have a guide who knows the river. Wear life jackets in all rough water." Surely Blumpkin noticed that the knee-deep water of Blacks Run was now a flood churning higher than his head. Nevertheless he launched, and just as quickly capsized, the boat occpuants tossed into the swift storm-fed stream.

Our "indestructible" friend Blumpkin was sucked underwater twice, to resurface at dawn, 100 yards downstream with a Darwin Award clutched in his fist. His female companion managed to reach shore, as did his male companion, who knew it "wasn't a good idea from the start."

Whether alcohol or drugs were involved, Chief Peavy was not allowed to comment.

Reader Comments:
"Hopefully no relation, right?"
"Kinda sad. ahhh... Blumpkin. My college crush."
"Check it out! We made it! The guy from JMU who drowned in Blacks Run made the Darwin Awards. It's about weeding out the bad-braincell people so we can evolve into a better race quicker. Hope this guy gets it!"

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2012
Submitted by: Tony Cobb
Reference: www.wina.com, Daily News-Record, The Breeze

Previous Directions Next

The Darwin Awards Gift Shop

The Darwin Awards Condom

Keep yourself out of the gene pool!
A condom in a matchbook, useful for emergency contraception, bachelor parties, frat parties, and important rites of passage. LOADED inside and out with funny quotes and stories. Everyone loves this item!
Friends don't let friends reproduce!
$13 for Pack of 4

 

 


Advanced Search

HomeRulesFAQsAwardsSlushSite Map
DarwinAward | HonorableMention | PersonalAccount | UrbanLegend