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Darwin Awards
2001 Darwin Awards
Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. Next Prev Random

Email a Friend Snowmoboater
2001 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

Snowmoboating falls into a legal gray area. Snowmobile drivers, unlike water skiers and jetski pilots, are not required to wear life jackets. And laws prohibiting driving motor vehicles into bodies of water don't apply to snowmobiles. After all, who'd ride a snowmobile on a reservoir? Apparently enough people that a world championship water skipping event is held every summer in Grantsburg, Wisconsin. The only state to ban the activity, after discovering the sport's potential for creating new Darwin Award candidates, is Nebraska.

(8 July 2001, Montana) From the time we climbed down from the trees to light a fire, we have been developing new and creative ways to make our lives easier. Centuries ago, the hardy Arctic people found that sliding on boards in deep snow was easier than walking, and when motors came along, an obvious improvement was to hook the two ideas together, making the snowmobile.

Even today, intrepid experimenters are finding new uses for the snowmobile. Although 500-pound snowmobiles are not designed to float, and in fact do not float, people have discovered that they can hydroplane across the surface of the water. It's called "water skipping" or "snowmoboating."

Gary, 49, did not know how to swim. Yet because he lived in Montana, where a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, he found a way to enjoy water sports. Yes, water skipping had a new convert.

Demonstrating his manliness by not wearing no stinking lifejacket, Gary climbed onto his snowmobile, gunned the motor, and skittered across the surface of the reservoir like a waterbug on speed. He zoomed onto the far bank, 200 yards away. Great delight was expressed by all.

He turned the snowmobile around, gunned the motor like the great Montana daredevil Evel Knievel, and roared onto the water for the return trip. He had barely made it 50 feet when the snowmobile lost momentum. His buddies watched in horror as the snowmobile plunged to the bottom of the reservoir, carrying a white-knuckled Gary down with it.

Montana had seen its first drowning victim from water skipping.

DarwinAwards.com © 1994 - 2008
Submitted by: Viper with Venom
Reference: Peninsula Clarion

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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action

Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.
$15
185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...!

This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone.

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