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1999 Darwin Awards
| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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Poisonous Pets
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(June 1999, Delaware) Fifteen snakes were found in the vicinity of a decomposed body in Stanton on Tuesday. A neighbor complained about the smell, which led the discovery of eight rattlesnakes, two cobras, and the 3-day-old corpse. The 45-year-old owner of the reptiles was found 10 feet from the open cage of a young Diamondback rattler. Apparently the man was feeding the snake when he was terminally bitten. Residents of the apartments were evacuated by the Delaware Animal Rescue team while a search was conducted for missing serpents. Neighbors said they had no idea that the weird loner kept poisonous snakes. One neighbor named Leroy claimed, "The snake was standing straight up as it turned toward me. It was a cobra." The SPCA notes that it's legal to keep deadly snakes, provided you apply for a permit. |
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Visit the Darwin Awards Giftshop Darwin Awards III: Survival of the Fittest
Hardback. 304 pages. Autographed.$15 The human race's most popular humor series returns with a brand-new collection of macabre mishaps and misadventures. Honoring those who improve our gene pool by inadvertently removing themselves from it, the Darwin Awards III shows once more how uncommon common sense still is. Salute the sheriff who inadvertently shot himself--twice! Witness the insurance defrauder who amputated his leg with a chainsaw! Heed the story of the farmer who avoided bee stings by sealing his head in a plastic bag! Cringe at the man crushed by a branch he'd just severed... directly over his head! 123 new stories, 18 full-page illustrations, plus discussions of transgenic animals, the origin of life, and more. Autographed by Author! |
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