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1993 Darwin Awards
| Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. |
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Pancake Pantry Thief
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(1992, Tennessee) Nashville's Pancake Pantry restaurant is well known throughout the music industry, not only for its great pancakes, but for its star-studded clientele as well. It is not uncommon for the Pantry's sidewalk to be littered with long lines of customers waiting for breakfast and the chance to see a famous country star dining there. The man involved in this story may linger longer in our memories than the average country singer's career. It seems one of the Pancake Pantry employees, noting how successful the place was, thought it would be a perfect place to rob. Early one morning, he climbed on the roof and reached the exhaust chute that hangs over the Pantry's large flat grill. Upon inspection, the perpetrator realized that he couldn't negotiate the tight passage fully dressed. He |
disrobed and slid down the exhaust chute naked. This was the last thing he ever did. Imagine the surprise of the opening crew for the restaurant that morning! As they prepared for the morning's breakfast, they were horrified to find a pair of legs dangling just inches from the griddle. What happened to our would-be villain? It seems that the chute was so tight, there was no room for error. As he slid down the chute, he slipped and caught his own arm under his chin, where he stuck. He died by suffocating himself. Paul Bordenkircher says, "I share this story not because I heard it third-hand, or even second-hand. I report it because I saw the it on local TV news, including a full video of the grisly discovery hanging above the Pantry's famous griddle." |
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The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action
Hardback. 327 pages. Autographed.$15 185 Stories! In the ongoing saga of Survival of the Fittest, meet the thief who steals electrical wires without shutting off the current! Marvel at the would-be pilot who suspends his lawnchair from helium balloons! Learn from the man who peers into a gas can using a cigarette lighter...! This book also includes a History of the Darwin Awards, Darwin Haiku, and a dozen humorous discussions of the implications of evolution, including the origin of idiots, and the role of testosterone. Autographed by Author! |
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