Darwin Awards III
"Survival of the Fittest"

by Wendy Northcutt

C h a p t e r  
2  S t o r i e s

Men: Omega Male
( Excerpt from Chapter 2 )

In this chapter men meet their inner idiots as they test their testosterone levels by petting sharks, kissing snakes, and chasing beer cans. Only when it's too late do these would-be alpha males unexpectedly realize they're actually... omega males.

Darwin Award: Foolish Courage
Unconfirmed by Darwin

1 January 2002, Brazil | The game of Russian Roulette, long a breeding ground for natural selection, was improved upon by two men with a unique approach to self-destruction. On New Year's Eve, Antonio and his friend were befogged by Pinga, a traditional Brazilian liquor, when they began playing a Russian Roulette variant using holiday fireworks. Their version of the game consisted of placing fireworks in their mouths, then lighting the fuses and competing to see who would delay longest before spitting out the firework.

The man, dare we call him "winner," who discarded the explosive closest to the point of detonation was the victor of this battle of wills. Their blatant disregard for personal safety was matched only by their foolish bravery. Antonio was our winner, holding one of the fireworks in his mouth a bit too long, and thereby thereby earning praise for his "courage" at his funeral. Reference: O Estado de São Paulo

Darwin Award: The Smoking Gun
Confirmed by Darwin

11 February 2001, New Jersey | Two drunks were goofing around, when one challenged the other to shoot him with cigarette butts "to see what it would feel like." His friend obligingly loaded an antique rifle with cigarette butts, placing black powder behind the butts to make sure they left the barrel of the gun. He then shot his friend from a distance of seven feet. The projectiles penetrated the ribcage of the 31-year-old who had issued the challenge, and he died of three cigarette butts to the heart. The gene pool is in trouble! Reference: WMAD 92.1 Madison, Wisconsin, ABC News, The Associated Press

C h a p t e r  2  S t o r i e s

DISCUSSION:
Glowing Green Monkeys

Slip Sliding Away

Foolish Courage
Mortal Insult
I Can't Swim!
The Smoking Gun
Library Return
Cactus Crunch
Well Trained
Roadkill

Blowhole
Fuzzy Fights Back
Beer Chaser
Shark Petting Zoo
Student Film Folly
Twice the Pain
Rectum Nearly Killed'm
Repeat Offender
Wag the Dog
Sexy Snack Slays
Stag Party
Uncle Rick's End

Darwin Awards -  Honorable Mentions -  Personal Accounts

Chapter Links: The Smoking Gun: Confirmation

Author Bio: Wendy Northcutt holds a degree in molecular biology from UC Berkeley. She began writing Darwin Awards in 1993, and founded the website soon thereafter.

 
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   the website. -wendy


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